“Fourteen years of being unhappily married…and I don’t think I can take one more day.”
This is what Ralph expressed during his first couples counseling session. His wife nodded in agreement. Both were deeply unhappy. They had gotten married when Ralph was 19 and Teena was 18. She was pregnant. They [...]
In the case of Stella and Sam, private counseling seemed like an important choice. Stella had a crippling case of agoraphobia (social phobia) which had only grown worse over the years. Early on in her marriage, Stella managed her phobic reactions. She held down a job and could occasionally go out with [...]
Marie was a painfully shy child. She wouldn’t talk to a soul in school unless she a teacher asked her a question. Into her teens, her withdrawn personality continued to manifest itself. She rarely took place in any social activities. By the time college started, Marie hadn’t a friend. When [...]
Margie and Hank entered couples counseling to save their marriage, even though they had been together for over 25 years. Both were nearing retirement, a time they both looked forward to for many years. Both had worked hard in preparation for it as well. Perhaps too hard, since Marge’s main complaint was [...]
There are couples who wouldn’t consider counseling at first. Take Josh and Anna, a young couple who started off as college sweethearts. Both are very driven individuals, whose chosen profession means a lot to them. When Anna started coming home later and later each night, Josh wrote it off to her new [...]
Marcy and Allen were at an impasse. Marcy refused to enter into therapy with Allen when they started having problems after 13 years of marriage. Marcy had been growing more and more distant from Allen and seemed in a state of constant irritation. On top of that, she had been drinking more [...]
Marty and Sam have been together for over four years. As gay men, they both came out of the closet around the same time and shared a lot of similar experiences when they did, such as their family distancing themselves from them. This was very painful and both Marty and Sam were happy [...]
Sarah and Jamie had been married over 12 years when Jamie had discovered that Sarah had a brief affair leading up to and including their wedding. Sarah had been seeing a high school sweetheart before she began dating Jamie and the two continued to see each other on a sporadic basis until Sarah pulled [...]
Many couples experience a good deal of fear or anxiety before their first couples counseling session. This happens for a number of reasons. Telling a stranger about complex, intimate problems is never easy. You fear the counselor’s reaction - maybe they’ll tell you that your problem is insurmountable! You might think [...]
George and Karen had been married one year before they entered into marriage counseling. They never expected to have problems so early on in their relationship. The year leading up to the wedding had been full of bliss…and distractions. They were swept away in arrangements and family members visiting. They didn’t [...]
There are many reasons couples will shy away from counseling when they are in need. For some, it’s seen as a personal failure. Others don’t like the discomfort of revealing personal material to a stranger. And finally, there are many who just don’t understand what couples counseling entails.
It is fairly [...]
There is a societal stigma around therapy. Many people suffering in a relationship will refuse therapy just because of this, which is a shame. Some think of it as a failure or feel like they are “airing dirty laundry.” They’d prefer to deal with the persistent problems and suffer in silence than [...]
We all know the feeling of a cyclical argument. It’s the type that could last until 4 in the morning. It’s the type where the same accusations are heard over and over again, in different tones and with different words - but still the same message. It’s the type that leaves you [...]
Anne had recently gotten married to a man she had known for a little over a year. He had moved here from France and was a successful chef. She was excited about her wedding plans and fretted and fumed over every little detail, from the perfect invitations to the most comfortable seating arrangements [...]
It’s not always easy to know when you and your significant other should consider therapy. There are difficult phases in a relationship that may not warrant professional help (though even temporary phases can be smoothed over with the assistance of a trained counselor). Perhaps one member is experiencing unemployment or physical problems and [...]
It’s never easy to discuss the prospect of therapy with a partner. There are many factors to c contend with. Perhaps one partner is very resistant to the idea of therapy for a number of reasons. Some people think of therapy as an admission of failure or shame. Or possibly communication [...]
A common refrain heard from many individuals who would like to enter into couples counseling is, “I’m willing but he’ll never go.” This often halts the progress and healing that therapy offers. Frequently, one member of the duo simply won’t even ask, thinking they know the other partner so well.
Couples counseling is a [...]
No matter what your take is on counseling, one thing can be sure: your life changes after it. Sometimes it stimulates action. This could mean cohesive, focused actions to make your marriage better. It could also indicate the need for a separation, whether temporarily or permanently. Sometimes this is needed [...]
In this day and age, most of us try to integrate some sort of fitness regime into our lives. Some may work out methodically at a local gym while others take on a leisurely stroll after a meal. But the majority recognize the importance of exercise and fitness when it comes to our [...]
Many couples may endure years in a state of denial when they are encountering a chronic relationship issue. And it’s understandable. First of all, problems evolve - they don’t happen overnight. Something that seemed relatively small several years ago may suddenly seem like an angry elephant sitting in the living room. [...]
Starting the counseling process is never easy. We usually encounter many internal roadblocks. There is often a sense of “I can take care of this myself” pride. Somehow we feel like failures for even thinking we need therapy. Shame can prevail but meanwhile, the problems continue.
One element that most people don’t [...]
Most people equate therapy with work. Problem is, most of equate work with something unpleasant, maybe something grueling.
When couples enter marriage counseling, there’s often a sense of a burden. Not only are they contending with whatever issues they are bringing to the table, but they have a sense of a “long journey [...]
Many marriages can suffer from a sort of apathy. We all get in our well-worn grooves; contenting with the daily grind of work, raising children, tending to our homes, paying bills, etc. It’s easy to think of marriage as something that’s self-sufficient. It’s as if you did the hard work by simply [...]
“If I had only known then what I know now.”
Somehow this phrase is particularly apt when it comes to relationships. Looking back on a history of relationships, some if not all of us wonder “What the heck were we thinking?”
That’s because relationships are a growing, expanding part of our [...]
