Fran entered individual therapy because she was having relationship problems…with someone she never met. Fran had met Andrew online last year. They are both musicians and began chatting in a chat room specifically to those in the music industry. They hit it off wonderfully. Fran had never felt so compatible with anyone, she proclaimed. Very [...]
“I thought no matter what went wrong, we loved one another and that would be enough. We’d figure it out.” Shelly said during his final session of couples counseling.
Shelly thought her marriage was impervious to problems because of the love she felt for husband. But here they were, headed for divorce after 4 years of [...]
Frank and his partner Sam entered counseling for couples because Sam still hadn’t introduced Frank to his parents. Sam hadn’t officially “come out of the closet” even though the two had been together for over 7 years. This became a growing point of contention and a constant source of arguments. Frank insisted on counseling [...]
Herb and Sally entered therapy based on their family’s urgings. They had ceased speaking to one another over a year ago, when Herb found out Sally was contemplating an affair.
Sally told Herb this as a last ditch effort, she later confessed. She was very unhappy in her marriage and had been for quite some [...]
Fay and Clark were an interracial couple new to a small town in upstage NYC when they entered marriage counseling. Recently married, they moved up there to “get away from the city” and start a family since both possessed online businesses that allowed them to relocate. They were only slightly concerned about their interracial status [...]
One of the most common stressors for a couple is the birth of a child. It is estimated that over 67% of couples experience a profound drop in the satisfaction in their marriage after the birth of their child and many will enter marriage counseling because of the “new addition.” This is generally due to [...]
Many couples think conflict resolution is something that should come from an intuitive place. They believe that somehow “love will find a way.” They feel disillusioned when they come across problems that they’re love can’t get through. They feel like failures or worse, that maybe their love isn’t strong enough; that their love, in fact, [...]
Counselors come in all different sizes, shapes and colors. Some have very specific studies and adhere to them strictly. Some have varied techniques to draw from and bring them into the counseling arena as they see fit. When you choose a counselor, its important to ask about their background and the direction of their studies [...]
Franz had no desire to seek couples counseling with his wife, Liza. He said he felt forced, coerced. They had been having marital problems for over 5 years and Liza had hit her limit. Franz, on the other hand, felt Liz exaggerated their problems, that she was just being “dramatic.” By the time [...]
Marty was 11 years old and was fed up with his parents fighting. He started experiencing a good deal of anxiety and complained to his parents how he couldn’t sleep. This started about a year ago when Mel and Sarah started having more serious marital difficulties and fought on a daily basis. [...]
Felicia was taking no chances after her second marriage. She set up an appointment with a marriage counselor the second week after her wedding! According to Felicia:
Look, I know I love Sam. That’s not the issue. I just squabbled with my ex-husband for the last decade and I didn’t want to [...]
50 years ago, the way a married couple managed interpersonal problems was considerably different than today. A generation ago, one of the most common techniques for marital discord was avoidance! There was often a sense of shame or a “grin and bear it” attitude, where unhappy couples would “happily” stay unhappy for decades. [...]
Pete and Melinda sat before the counselor as two happy people. Both had decided to get a divorce after 17 years of marriage. Both were happy with the decision. Both entered couples therapy because they had seen their parents and friends go through protracted, bitter divorces and were prepared to separate amiably. [...]
Jen and Jim had a problem that is being seen more frequently in couples counseling - a lack of connectivity due to their constant busyness. Both were high-powered corporate types who married at a young age, after college, then instantly began to build their careers. Jen was a top ad executive in NYC [...]
Belle and Harry were longstanding members of a Christian church in Mississippi. Both were devout community members who worked tirelessly for local charities and still found time to manage two businesses. When they began having trouble in their marriage, they had some trouble entering into marriage counseling. Both were feeling that somehow, [...]
Many of the problems that arise on a daily basis, whether we are married or not, are met in habitual ways. When that woman cuts in front of you illegally on the highway, when that man bumps into you without as much of an “excuse me” in the grocery store - when we deal [...]
Bart was a self-proclaimed “good old boy” and the last type you’d expect to see in a marriage counselor’s office. He was raised on a dairy farm in Texas and rode his first tractor trailer at 8 years old. When he met Eugenia at 15, they knew after high school they would marry and [...]
Carl had never known his wife harbored a grudge that lasted for over 34 years. Tammy had never said anything and it simply accrued mental energy over time. When they entered therapy, it had nothing to do with the grudge seemingly. Carl had suggested it because Tammy had been depressed a lot [...]
Most couples don’t enter marital therapy for enrichment, though some do. A small percentage seek counseling pre-crisis. Perhaps they will be married soon or some just feel a certain stillness in their marriage and seek counseling as a way to rejuvenate their connection. But most couples enter therapy because there is an [...]
When a couple reaches marriage counseling, chances are they are already discouraged. Sometimes this discouragement has been building for years, compounding the lack of perspective. In addition, discouragement is contagious. If one partner is feeling that way, the other is bound to follow.
One of the biggest obstacles counselors face is dealing with [...]
That’s what Zak thought - he was beyond therapy. Or couples counseling. He had graduated from an Ivy League school with a double major in Law and Psychology. He married his high school sweetheart Blanca shortly after the left the University they both attended. Everything was going according to plan. [...]
It took a lot to bring Bill and Beth into the counselor’s office. Both were stubborn types who didn’t see much of a reason for marriage counseling - except for the very real fact that their marriage was rapidly going down hill. Bill felt as if Beth didn’t do much to contribute to [...]
Before couples counseling, Bobby was a slob. There was doubt about it. It wasn’t a relative opinion, expressed only by his wife. His co-workers said the same thing. His mother said the same thing. Even his old college roommates said the same thing…and they were pretty sloppy! Tasha knew [...]
It is becoming more common for young couples to seek the aid our couples counseling before getting married for a number of reasons. Some may being seeing certain trends developing that they want to address before living together, when it may be more difficult. Others choose pre-marriage counseling as a way to check [...]
When Fannie and Hal arrived at their couples counseling, Hal had trouble entering the office. He felt very uncomfortable entering into therapy and only entered because “she made me,” as he later confessed.
Fannie had taken on a new job several months before. This was the first time she entered the workforce. [...]
Marriage counseling has helped many couple work through complex problems, ranging from infidelity to addiction to sexuality issues. On paper, some of these problems seem too big to move past but two people who are willing to make changes have an incredible amount of power. But there are times when problems or differences [...]
It often seems that the more years pass by, the more we become set in our ways. It becomes harder to be flexible, reach out or try something new. This was the case with Marge and Henry, who had been married for a whopping 54 years before entering couples counseling.
Marge had [...]
Helen and Maria had been living together for years before couples counseling became a complete necessity. Maria had decided to spend time with an ex of hers on a more frequent basis and this was making Helen increasingly uncomfortable. Maria assured her that there was nothing romantic between her and her ex but [...]
Phillip had never told Elizabeth about a longstanding addiction of his, until couples counseling. He had been taking pain medication for many years following a serious car accident. His back was badly injured but after several years of physical therapy, it had healed almost 100%. He continued to take pain medication afterwards, [...]
There are many schools of therapy in which counselors are trained. It is important to ascertain whether a particular direction of study suits you and your partners needs. But there are certain elements you can expect in your first few meetings with your couples counselor, overall.
* The [...]
