Many couples, older and younger, enter into couples counseling needing to talk about “how they expected something different.” Many had been raised with a particular picture in their mind about marriage and when their marriage didn’t live up to their expectation, felt disappointed or disillusioned. Sherry and Fred were such a young couple.
According to Sherry:
Ever [...]
We live in busy times. Our recreational time becomes something we have to schedule in. Our days feel too full and our nights under slept. Personal issues often take a back seat to the rest of life, whirring by. One of the most common problems with couples who want to take time to see a [...]
When couples enter marriage counselor, we often imagine they are bringing very big issues to the table: infidelity, toxic arguments, etc. But a very common issue that arises in couples, especially newly married people, is the very banal issue of housecleaning.
Well, before we downplay the importance of cleaning house, let us not forget that [...]
Making time for intimacy is becoming an increasingly common issue that couples bring into couples counseling. There seems to be a time shortage with increasing work hours and familial obligations. Sex almost seems like a luxury that many couples can’t seem to afford.
In the same breath, when sex constantly gets put on the back [...]
Many couples will maintain couples counseling throughout their marriage but without the aid of it on a constant basis. Such was the case of Ben and Joline who had entered into couples counseling within their first year of marriage. Both were under enormous financial pressure and Ben had a chronic illness. Their premier year [...]
Lance and Harriet had been married for close to 25 years, both married previously. They had never been in couples counseling before, so both sat before the counselor nervously and unprepared as to what to do. When the marriage counselor asked them what brought them here, Harriet had this to say:
I’ve wanted to come here [...]
Sandra and Elisa had been together for close to 10 years before entering counseling. Both had moderately successful careers, an extensive social network and a happy home. But over the last few years, they “grew apart” as Sandra put it. Neither could pick their finger on why but both were afraid this distance spelled the [...]
There is no easy answer to that question. Some couples pursue marriage counseling for years; they enjoy the time they spend with their counselor. It serves as a way to “clean house.” Some married couples may attend for only a few sessions, with a very specific problem to address. Once they feel they’ve reached a [...]
Sheila and Bob had seriously considered marriage counseling for years. Their marriage had been in a state of disrepair for quite some time but they were “getting by” as Bob put it. They had a teenage daughter who had witnessed some of the worst arguments between the two. And while both explained to her repeatedly [...]
When you or your partner are new to counseling, its often new terrain: who do you choose? What qualities are you looking for in a marriage counselor? Would you know a skilled, competent marriage counselor versus one that isn’t as highly trained? What kind of training are you looking for in the first place? Who [...]
Certain experiences in our life put more stress on us than we’d expect. Obviously, the death of a loved one, sudden illness and divorce take its toll on the body and mind. But something such as moving to a new location can be extremely stressful as well. Not only the move itself (which most of [...]
Young couples often have particular problems associated with their partnership for many reasons. Many young couples are experiencing issues for the first time. When couples have experienced problems repeatedly with their current partner or previous partners, they have some knowledge base on which to draw, some seasoned familiarity. Couples counseling is often ideal for [...]
Savon and Martin are as different as any couple could be. As Savon’s mother puts it, “radically different.” And while they have had a healthy marriage for some time, lately their political differences were getting in the way. With an upcoming presidential election ahead, Savon couldn’t possibly understand why Martin would vote for his candidate [...]
One of the wonders of counseling, whether its individual of marriage counseling, is that it seems to generate ideas for people that may not have been thought of otherwise. Most of our days are spent chockful of family, work, friends, recreation. When we’re dealing with interpersonal problems, they often doesn’t get the time and care [...]
Daryl and Sarah were in unusual situation - one that the experienced couples counselor they had chosen hadn’t witnessed before.
Daryl was still married - to another woman. Daryl and his wife had established separate living situations years ago but decided to stay together until the children grew older. Daryl had met Sarah at the [...]
Many people forego couples counseling because they often believe their relationship is “as good as it gets.” Often, when coping with poor role modeling and low self-esteem issues, an ailing relationship seems almost the norm. Some are even taught to withstand at all costs, as a way of proving your love - the “stand by [...]
Liza and Thomas are the stereotypical examples of “jet setters.” Both are high-profiled business people. Liza lectures and advises companies around the world on the importance of global marketing. Thomas is an international lawyers with clients across the globe. Both “live” in New York City but last year, they were only there a total of [...]
You have a choice at some point within your marriage. And its only for you to decide. Do you pursue a path such as marriage counseling or do you depart ways? And honestly, its only for you to say. If you feel that counseling would be beyond you at this point, then separation is your [...]
When Maurice and Sharon started marriage counseling, they didn’t think there was much chance. Both had separated from one another for over 2 years. They had also began seeing other people. But after this time apart, both considered themselves deeply unhappy. They decided on counseling because it gave them an opportunity to explore their marital [...]
Most of us can make some educated guesses when it comes to the topics most couples are most likely to argue about and what will bring them in front of a couples counselor. We can simply look back at our own history or use common sense. According to relationship psychotherapist Paula Hall, the top five [...]
Couples argue. It’s a fact of life. And the idea that you shouldn’t argue is rather limited. Arguing can be a healthy, constructive part of a growing argument - as long as its done correctly. If you feel your arguments are becoming violent, verbally or physically abusive or cyclical in nature (same argument for years, [...]
Relationships are continuous, even when they end. There is a connectivity that is created between two people that can never be taken away, an intimacy and knowledge of one another that becomes part of each person. Some couples revisit their connection, even years after a separation or a divorce. Couples counseling can help renegotiate this [...]
Bill and Brenda decided to wait to marry. And wait they did. They spent over 10 years dating and 5 years living together. Both had always dreamed of a big, splashy wedding; adding more and more detail as each year went by. They joked that planning their wedding had become a long-standing hobby. So what [...]
Living together has become commonplace for many couples who are either unsure about marriage or want to give it a “trial run.” It can serve as a platform for couples to work through issues surrounding finances, lifestyle and the tasks of running a household. On the flip side, it can also be used as a [...]
Some couples are advised to obtain couples counseling prior to marriage. Its a good way to ascertain the couple’s dynamic and do some preventative work on their communication skills. Such was the case of Larry and Gail, who were both in their early 20’s and soon to be wed.
After several sessions of couples counseling, [...]
Ryan and Anita entered couples counseling after experiencing a devastating financial loss - one that cost them a majority of their savings. While both of them had high-paying jobs, they knew it would take years to recoup. On top of it, Anita held Ryan to blame for the loss. She had suggested safer financial options [...]
Belinda and Sam had been married over 40 years before entering couples counseling. Both had decided to go on a worldwide trip for which they had saved for over 15 years. Both seemed like an easy-going pair, humorous and carefree. So what brought them into counseling?
According to Sam:
I wasn’t willing to go on a long [...]
Frank and Hannah entered into couples counseling following the birth of their third child, who was mentally handicapped. Hannah felt that Frank had “jumped ship” and wasn’t having much to do with the raising of their child. Frank felt that Hannah was overly focused on the child because of her handicap and “wasn’t letting the [...]
As we explore more deeply the complex dynamics that exist between two partners, we begin to see the intricacies of communication. When a couple enters into marriage counseling, they often relearn (or learn for the first time) how to communicate properly, even how to argue properly.
Arguing can be healthy way to express emotion and [...]
Nick and Frank sat down before a couples counselor, quite unsure of what to do. Both were new to counseling and weren’t sure how to proceed. When one spoke, the other began speaking. They were both nervous and in need of guidance. The couples counselor then asked each of them to explain why they were [...]
