It happens and you don’t even quite know how. A discussion becomes a heated debate becomes a full-blown argument. Words are said that you’ll regret later. Time needs to pass before the soreness heals. Is there a way to detect an argument brewing before it turns into a full-blown mess? Couples counseling teaches better ways [...]
Many couples comment that they experience a shift in perspective after couples counseling. After learning new ways to communicate and express themselves, there’s a real need to apply these new skills to other life situations. An expansion of sorts begins to occur. Here’s what one client has to say: “It was strange, how much counseling [...]
There is a phenomenon that often occurs with self-help books that can just as easily apply to marriage counseling. People understand the new concepts they need to integrate into their lives, they’re excited about it…and then they go back to the daily living and forget all about it! What are some good ways to retain [...]
Talking about couples counseling with your partner is never an easy prospect. Many couples feel as if its some sort of admission of defeat; that their relationship is failing somehow and needs outside help. Others just fear the unknown. If one or the other partner has never experienced the therapeutic process, it may just seem [...]
Many experts have noted that when a couple can laugh together and share a genuine sense of humor, they are more likely to move past marital difficulties that often lead to couples counseling. Not only is humor a “shared language,” it can often diffuse the tension during a heated moment. It’s important to look for [...]
Frida and Ed had been married for only a year before they sought out couples counseling. Frida had taken on a second job and was “neglecting the needs of the household” according to Ed. Frida was angry with Ed and felt that this thinking was problematic. She feared they weren’t compatible: “When I heard him [...]
Compatibility is a term often tossed about in couples counseling but we’re often not sure exactly what it means and where the lines are drawn. We seem to know it when we feel it. We’ll often hear happy couples express that they feel like “two peas in a pod.” But what about long term compatibility? [...]
The holidays are a complicated time for many. Couples often feel the pressure and couples counseling is often a helpful way to manage the holiday blues. So what happens? What goes wrong? We all want to feel happy over the holidays? Then why are so many of us struck with a sense of disappointment or [...]
What is it about holidays that can bring out the best and the worst of us? There is a lot of external pressure on all of us; media images bombard us daily, reminding us of how our holidays should be. Whenever we feel anything differently, often we feel guilty, as if we have no right [...]
Nobody likes conflict. Well, sometimes it seems like some people do. Maybe your partner seems like she loves picking fights with you. Or perhaps your boss seems like he patiently waits for for you to do something wrong. When you enter marriage counseling, it’s usually based on conflict of some kind. To be more specific, [...]
Marianne and George had been seeing the same couples counselor for two years. Their marriage had a rocky start, since Marianne was dealing with an addiction problem and spent several of their first few months as a married couple in rehab. George had lost a lot of hope at that time, feeling as if he [...]
The holidays have their own built-in stressors for couples. It’s a time when already existing problems tend to rear their ugly head. What is it about the holidays that can bring out the worst in us? Maybe it’s the expectations. We are bombarded with images of how holidays are supposed to be and when our [...]
Nothing can affect the fabric of a relationship or marriage like a chronic illness. Many couples have to contend with the anxiety and constant pressure that this causes. In addition to the daily struggles of an illness that needs hands-on care, there is the dynamic change. Couples, for the most part, enter into a relationship [...]
One the biggest spirit tasks we have before is the ability to empathize with another. And nowhere is that need more prominent then couples counseling, which asks that you put your ego aside for a bit and truly understand what your partner is going through. It’s not easy, of course. The ego is a rascal, [...]
When Hilary and Dimitri sought guidance from a marriage counselor, they were at their wit’s end. They had a 3 year-old child who they were having difficulty disciplining. And not because the child was such a troublemaker. Hilary and Dimitri had radically different views on parenting their child and it was causing an almost daily [...]
We live in a society that often seems very open with expression, but in fact still maintains a stiff upper lip. We watch shows like Oprah and watch people “confess it all” and cry on television but its as if we’re vicariously living through them, emotionally speaking. Couples counseling often allows you to speak more [...]
Couples therapy and individual therapy is a wonderful way to explore yourself in a healthy and safe setting. Many people think, “Well what is there to explore? I know myself already.” Well, most of live only semi-consciously and don’t even realize it. When was the last time you felt like you were genuinely living in [...]
Couples counseling is a process, just as a relationship is a process; always unfolding and ever active. Even when a relationship feels as if its hit a wall, it still is moving. The dynamics change in slight ways. It’s an energy between two people and it needs to stay active. So how does couples counseling [...]
Gerry and Rita had been married for 14 years and, as Gerry put it, “13 of it has been hell.” Gerry finally convinced Rita to enter marriage counseling so they could talk about their marriage with a trained professional, who could potentially save their marriage. Rita nervously gave the couples counselor her take: I just [...]
Undoubtedly, couples counseling explores the dynamic issues between two people as well as the emotional health of the individuals. If one is suffering or dealing with psychological problems, it is highly likely that this will be affecting his or her marriage or relationship as well. How could it not? Relationships are based on the emotional [...]
Many couples enter into counseling with seemingly manageable problems. The problems can include housecleaning issues (“I’m sick of picking up after him. I feel like his handmaid”) to conversational skills (“She never lets me get a word in edgewise.) Most of the time, the source of these problems runs deeper; such as control, fear and [...]
This is probably a scenario many of us can relate to: you read a self-help book and it feels incredibly transformational; all sorts of advice that resonates with you. You say to yourself, “This is exactly what I needed. It’s as if the author spoke to me.” You feel like a new person, with a [...]
One reason many couples give for not attending couples counseling is a feeling that it will take forever. They think their problems are so in-depth, it would take years to unravel their difficult, multi-layered problems. The truth of the matter is that it doesn’t take as long as your worst fears! Couples counselors are trained [...]
If you’re new to couples counseling, the process can seem overwhelming. How do you know if a marriage counselor seems good or qualified? What are you looking for in a good counselor? What if you like the marriage therapist but your partner does not? Many assume they are not qualified to choose a couples counselor. [...]
The idea of couples counseling can be daunting. If you’re new to counseling, it might be akin to visiting a foreign land. Therapy has its fair share of undue stigma attached to it. Many think its silly or unsubstantial. Others fear their “head will be shrunk.” Some practically minded folk just see it as a [...]
Forgiveness is a simple act in theory, though our ego often gets in the way. Holding on to grudges is a defense mechanism ultimately. And while its our way of protecting ourselves from further hurt, it often prevents us from release and happiness. Marriage counseling allows you to work through the steps of forgiveness, which [...]
Divorce is never easy. It becomes especially difficult when children are involved. Many children will internalize their feelings about the break-up or secretly blame themselves. Often a child will “act out” in school, due to an increase in anxiety and worry. Couples counseling can often advise couples on how to handle a divorce as gracefully [...]
There’s nothing easy about entering into couple’s counseling; especially if its your first time. If you are someone used to the therapeutic process, you’ll have a sense of what to expect. Perhaps you have gone through individual counseling before, since many of us have at some point in our lives. Couples counseling is a different [...]
Often couples will comment that entering into couples counseling is like starting over again. There’s a sense of newness, of meeting your partner for the first time. But how could you not know this person, especially if you’ve been married for quite some time? Often life gets in the way. We live in a society [...]
Many of us today quietly suffer in one form or the other. We’re a stoic society that has learned to withhold; to “grin and bear it” and keep a “stiff upper lip.” Expressing our emotions is either seen as a weakness or an eccentricity. Certainly in the workplace, being restrained is seen as being professional. [...]
