Most of us can sense an argument a mile away. You walk into your home after a long day and there’s this icy feeling in the air. You check the temperature but it’s just fine. Then you walk into the kitchen and your spouse or partner has his/her back toward you. Silence. You know something [...]
When looking for a couples counselor, its imperative to research the person’s credentials, as well as deciding whether this person is a good fit for you and your partner. A well-trained marriage counselor can make the difference between a successful marriage or relationship or a failing, troubled interpersonal connection. Here’s what one counselor had to [...]
Inherently, we know the power of laughter. We know how good it feels to laugh, especially when we’re feeling down. It’s deeply therapeutic and scientific studies have proved this time and time again. In couples counseling, a couple that can laugh together, even amidst an argument, stand a much better chance of succeeding in the [...]
Many people leave couples counseling feeling considerably different than when they started. They weren’t prepared for such a healthy change but it happened anyway! That’s because we often consider problems we’re having with others as separate from us, not emanating from us. Once we begin the therapeutic process, changes occur from deep within. Here’s what [...]
Nobody likes arguing (though you could swear a few people in your life do, right?) But at some point, with most of the relationships in our lives, whether it be a friend, family member or partner in marriage, arguments will occur. Couples counseling helps you to argue in a way that’s healthy and constructive. As [...]
We’re a quick-fix society. We want things done now. Some couples enter into marriage counseling with the same mindset, wanting a repair to their marital issues almost overnight. Unfortunately (or fortunately, as the case may be) counseling is a process, sometimes an extended one. Here’s what one woman had to say: Sam and I are [...]
Most of us assume that couples counseling is primarily about talking but that isn’t entirely true. A trained couples counselor will look at all aspect of the couples interaction including their body language. Some counselors will focus on touch as a tool to aid in communication. Touch in an often underused and under appreciated dynamic [...]
Depression can cause a mighty wedge between you and your partner. Often couples counseling helps the couple to learn to communicate to one another in a way where both parties are heard and feelings are understood. Depression causes its share of problems in a partnership. Often depression leads to a particular kind of withdraw, leaving [...]
Therapy is often a complex process that we all assume we know. But do we know the basics? Is your marriage counselor “certified” or “licenses?” What does that mean? Will that matter in the long run? What type of therapy are you expecting? What type of therapy do you want? These are all very relevant [...]
Couples counseling takes into consideration many factors when it comes to your marriage. Environment plays a huge part in our mental state though its often overlooked. We become accustomed to noisy environments these days, thinking its the norm; children running around, cell phones ringing constantly, the washer running, the TV blaring in the background. Then [...]
Here’s what Martha, 41, had to say about her expectations surrounding her marriage to Scott: I had so many dreams as a teenager. I had my wedding gown planned out by the time I was 15! I knew what I wanted my husband to look like, how he’s talk, how much money he’d make and [...]
We give the idea of listening lip service. We think we know exactly what is going to be said to us about the topic. We don’t listen to lessons in listening! And nowhere does that become more prevalent and necessary than in the context of couples counseling, where active listening can potentially lead to saving [...]
Depression can wreak havoc on a relationship if the two partners aren’t prepared and don’t know how to communicate with one another. Often the partner who isn’t suffering from depression will take the other’s actions personally, feeling as if he or she had done something wrong. Couples counseling is a great resource to help couples [...]
There is a particular anxiety that accompanies marital difficulties that anyone going through would understand. It’s a constant, nagging concern. Will he stay? Will she hurt me? Why doesn’t he understand me? Why won’t he just apologize? These thoughts run rampant during times or marital discourse, often interfering with the rest of your life. Couples [...]
We all know these kinds of arguments, whether we’ve had one with a friend, a family member or a loved one. It’s the kind of argument that goes around in a circle and doesn’t seem to find much resolution. Too many years of this kind of arguing can create a need for couples counseling, which [...]
Some couples enter into couples counseling before their problems get to unmanageable proportions. They know the signs: frequent arguing, distancing, complaining, sex life suffering. Many couples see these signs and don’t think much of it. Perhaps they grew up in an environment where they thought this kind of discord was the norm. Or maybe they [...]
Letting go can seem like an allusive concept to most, though we’d all like to be able to do it more frequently. Let go of what exactly? If we let go, will our life fall apart? Can we “let go” of a partner in order to let him or her grow? Can we let go [...]
Many day-to-day situations between couples don’t necessarily warrant couples counseling but they do require conflict resolution…and quickly. Most of don’t have the time in an average day to endlessly process with our partner. Some matters are less serious than others, for instance. And occasionally, a problem isn’t significant of anything deeper – it just needs [...]
Maria and Devon are a happy couple, at least outwardly. They come across as gregarious, outgoing types, both with careers they enjoyed and a home they loved. So what were they doing in couples counseling? Both were experiencing a different dynamic behind closed doors. Often they were arguing until the wee hours of the night [...]
When Harriet and Fred entered couples counseling, they were in a crisis situation. Both here arguing everyday and Fred had taken to sleeping in the in-law suite behind their house. Both children were grown but refused to come over for gatherings because of the constant arguing. The source? Harriet had taken her first outside job [...]
Sometimes it seems, quite literally, that our partner is closed off. The body language says it all: folded arms, hunched shoulders, eyes looking out the window. What are the signs that your partner is just not listening, body and soul? A trained couples counselor will often pick up on body cues that indicate more than [...]
As we inherently know, the body speaks volumes – considerably more than words can. Hence why we understand on a deeper level what it means when your partner crosses his arms abruptly or rolls her eyes. The body can us a myriad of messages but more than just a communicator, we can use it as [...]
Luke and Hannah had only been married one year before they sought the guidance of a marriage counselor. Luke had started a new business their first year of marriage and was dealing with a lot of stress due to uneven cash flow and tax issues. Hannah had decided to go back to school that year [...]
We all have varying degrees of difficulty when it comes to sharing our feelings. Many of us believe that women have any easier time of it but women can have their share of emotional restrictions. Often women have a hard time expressing anger, for example. Or retreat into “people pleaser” mode, shoving their feelings inside [...]
We live during a time where appearances are everything – literally and metaphorically. Many of us long to have the perfect relationship, not only for ourselves but on some levels, to show the world we are lovable, acceptable – that we fit in. Once we find a partner, it becomes important to appear to others [...]
We live in “quick fix” times. We get frustrated when our computer takes an extra millisecond to load or we have to wait in a long line at the grocery store. Often when people enter couples counseling, they experience a similar frustration. It’s as if they are hardwired for an immediate solution to an often [...]
Many of us in relationship know the addictive power of arguing. Hence why a good one can last till the wee hours! Egos come into play and a real need to win become prevalent. Couples counseling helps couples argue in ways that are healthy and communicative, and not 4 a.m. head bangers. Other kinds of [...]
We’ve all heard them, grew up with them and buy into them: they are the relationship myths that we’ve been told that have been branded into our minds. We don’t doubt them, though possibly we should. Relationships abound and living by them can cause trouble in your relationship, which can lead to a need for [...]
A perceptive couples counselor notices more than just the words shared between a couple; he or she notices body language as well, which can speak volumes. Just as easily as non-verbal communication can be an indicator of a dynamic between a couple, it can be adjusted in order to improve relationships. Non-verbal communication is not [...]
We all have different ways of saying “I love you” to our partner. Some think that simply speaking it is enough. Some have trouble with the words (and some, a lot of trouble with the words!) but they display their feelings through their action. Marriage counseling allows couples to see through their partner’s eyes and [...]
