Face it, we all have idiosyncrasies that drive our spouses crazy, and if we’re not careful, we can become critical. Too critical. It’s not always the big issues that destroy marriages, but lots of little ones. We let hurts, resentments, and frustrations build and then it hits critical mass–and we find our marriages in jeopardy. [...]
Sometimes it feels that way–as if your marriage is running on empty. Perhaps you’ve grown apart. Perhaps you’re an empty-nester. Your kids are grown and now that the house is empty, your marriage feels empty, too. This is a pivotal time for marriages, and many don’t make the transition. Marriage counseling can help. You already have [...]
Jeremy and Stacy aren’t talking. At all. It’s been five days. They’ve gotten mad and given each other the silent treatment before, but it’s usually for a few hours, or at the most overnight. Now, Jeremy and Stacy don’t know exactly how to start talking again. Marriage counseling can help couples learn how to “fight fair,” [...]
I heard a startling statistic on Headline News this morning. Did you know that men make up 80% of the people being laid off in our country this year? When someone loses a job, they lose a part of how they perceive themselves. Men especially define themselves by what they do. All of these factors put [...]
Depression strikes over 20 million Americans each year (according to NIMH, National Institute of Mental Health), and well over half are women. When your spouse is depressed, it’s difficult to know how to reach them, how to help–and there’s a toll on your marriage. Many people ask, should I insist my spouse see a doctor? Or should I [...]
The Today Show (Kathy Lee and Hoda segment) featured a “Guys Tell All,” segment this morning. A panel of men (age range, 20-45) spoke candidly about marriage and their relationships. One of the men asked, “When should a couple go to a marriage counselor?” And several men answered in unison, “Before you get married!” Good marriage advice. [...]
We’ve grown apart. We’re not on the same page. He’s boring. He’s not the same person I thought I married. You’ve changed. We have nothing in common. I don’t even know her anymore. We don’t want the same things….These are the phrases many couple use when they first come to marriage counseling. Sometimes they agree [...]
You can’t stay married for any length of time without holding a grudge every once in a while. It just happens. We let each other down, we disappoint, and we break trust. Marriage counseling can help couples get over those deep grudges that have taken root in your marriage. It will take some work, even a disciplined [...]
Everybody needs a little help now and then. It’s too bad that our wedding vows don’t include an additional clause, “I promise to seek help and commit to working on our marriage, throughout our marriage.” Sadly, people usually wait too long to visit a marriage counselor. By then, some problems have long tentacles. Couples should [...]
Dahlia and Frank entered couples counseling for an unusual reason. Both wanted to break up but weren’t quite sure how to do it. They had been struggling to make a “final split” as Frank called it, for over 4 years. Both decided their relationship was too inherently flawed and beyond repair. But because of financial [...]
Maria had a lot to say to her husband during their first couples counseling session. But there was a problem. Nobody could hear her. Maria is very shy and her voice, often barely audible. While she had a lot to get off her chest, her actual voice seemed to be getting in the way! Maria [...]
Marriage counseling teaches communication skills, among other things. Many times, improper communications skills can stand in the way of a healthy, thriving marriage. Here’s what one counselor had to say: I think many couples give lip service to the skill of listening. Many don’t realize that they aren’t listening very well, even when they are [...]
One of the most difficult aspects of marriage counseling can be getting started. Most couples experience a myriad of reactions when the subject is broached. Here are some common resistance-based refrains: “I don’t like airing my dirty laundry. If we have a problem, we’ll fix it ourselves.” “I don’t want some quack or head shrinker [...]
When Sam and Theresa entered marriage counseling, both were willing to try anything to save their marriage, which was rapidly declining. Sam had spent several years in the armed forced, fighting overseas. Upon his return, Theresa had this to say: He’s not the man I married. He’s angry all the time. He has outbursts at [...]
Laura couldn’t let go of her husband, she explained to the couples counselor. And he had been dead for over 5 years. Her current husband, Sammy, sat by her side, listening to Laura intently. They decided to attend marriage counseling when Sammy realized that Laura’s unresolved grief was getting in the way of their marriage. [...]
Hal and Franklin entered into couples counseling on the verge of breaking up. Hal had become increasingly frustrated with Franklin over the last 5 years of their relationship. He felt that he could never bring a problem to the table without Franklin “losing it” as he put it. Franklin has no clue how to listen. [...]
Most people don’t consciously think about body language, but couples counselors are trained to. They can see the real talk behind the relationships. Body language isn’t a “tell all” like the tabloids would like us to believe. It doesn’t mean your relationship will end because your husband crossed his legs the wrong way. But a [...]
Communication is the backbone of a solid relationship. Without good communication skills, a couple will quickly find the need for couples counseling to help them find their way. Communication, just like any other skill, doesn’t always come naturally; it is a skill that needs to be practiced and refined as we mature. One aspect of [...]
Kelly and Ian started a relationship during an awkward time. Kelly had recently divorced and had a 1-year-old baby girl. When Ian and Kelly became involved, Ian was insistent on creating a family. But neither were as prepared as they thought. They entered into marriage counseling, feeling defeated and overwhelmed. Ian had this to say: [...]
Caroline and Bobby had found themselves in a predicament. Both were deeply in love and interested in moving further with their relationship but seemed to be hitting a roadblock. Bobby was interested in marrying within the next year and Caroline had no desire. They entered into couples counseling to talk about the “bigger picture” of [...]
Newly married couples often experience a good of adjustment issues and Karen and Hank were no different. They had been engaged for 2 years prior to their marriage and had lived together as well. Both felt poised to enter into their new home and new life together. After several months, though, Karen felt like she [...]
Martha and Ed entered into marriage counseling with 32 years of marriage under their belt. “20 of its been miserable,” said Martha. The couple were near constantly arguing, to a point where it had become a joke in their immediate family. “Everyone thinks its funny when we bicker but I don’t. I don’t at all. [...]
A common refrain heard from many couples in crisis? “We really need to see a couples counselor but we can’t find the time” or “We can’t really fit marriage counseling into our budget right now. It’s the least of our priorities.” While these are, in fact, troubled economic times, your marriage in crisis needs to [...]
Most of us are used to a certain level of disconnect. We get up, go to work, come back home, watch television and go to sleep, only to repeat the cycle the next day. We often don’t know when we’re upset or our marriage is having difficulties. Or we know but consciously make a decision [...]
When Wendall and Kathy started marriage counseling, both were concerned. And for a good reason. They had been married once before and went through an awful divorce. Ten years later, they rekindled their feelings and after 2 years of getting to know one another again, they decided to give it a go. But this time, [...]
Marie, a spouse of 15 years, had this to say about her couples counseling experience: I love Tom. Obviously or I wouldn’t have stayed with him so long. But I stopped liking him and that I couldn’t shake. Tom used to be an idealistic hippie-type, always talking about Mother Earth and freedom for all people. [...]
When Mary and Ted entered marriage counseling, they weren’t sure what to expect but knew they needed help. Mary had taken a position in the film industry that required she be away from home for several months throughout the year. As her duties increased, so did her time away. The couple began to feel disconnected [...]
While most of us don’t think of feelings this way, its been proven repeatedly that there is a connection between our emotional state and our physical health. Marriage counseling can facilitate our emotional expression and help clear the air both mentally and physically. If you’re one of the people who don’t think your emotional state [...]
Forgiveness can be a slippery beast. We all think we know what it means until we have to practice it. Then again, many of us have preformed idea of forgiveness that is often limiting, especially in marriage counseling. We believe forgiveness means letting go 100%, never remembering the infraction again and moving on. Forgiveness doesn’t [...]
Clyde and Darla had been married 4 years before they decided to talk about their relationship with a skilled marriage counselor. Clyde was at his wit’s end. Darla was constantly complaining about Clyde’s family and he felt torn. While he deeply loved Darla, he was also quite close with his family and didn’t like Darla’s [...]
