Remember the time when you were almost swept off your feet? Remember those times when you used to wait for the calls from your beloved? Now that your beloved is your spouse, have things changed between the two of you? Is the spark missing? Is there no sweet tension between the two of you when [...]
Every relationship is different from another, but marriage takes an exclusivity. Marriage is not born out of blood relationship. It is something we get into by choice. Love, trust, and understanding takes us into it, and only these things can make the marriage work. Here’s what Arlene Foreman, renowned counselor, has to say about the [...]
Before you crib about the state of your relationship, have you really looked into what is causing it? I understand that you are fed up and don’t really want to analyze it, but take just a moment to pause and analyze it if you want the relationship to sustain. And, yeah, try to be objective; [...]
Imagine that your spouse comes home all down and depressed on a day you were planning to go out and have fun. Your spouse is in no mood to have fun. His/her anxiety soon takes over you and you either become angry, sad, or depressed. If this happens to you frequently because your spouse is [...]
Many of us are skeptical about relationship counseling; we wonder if meeting a total stranger will help matters. In an earlier post, ‘How Can a Third Person – the Counselor – Help Improve Your Relationship?‘ we discussed how exactly a couple counselor helps. Now, when should you actually visit the marriage counselor? This is something [...]
In the previous post, we discussed that your willingness to improve your relationship will make counseling work in your favor. Dr. Noah H. Kersey, renowned psychologist, says in his article titled ‘Key Steps to Success in Counseling‘ that apart from willingness, one needs motivation, commitment, and faith to make counseling work. Here’s what Dr. Kersey [...]
When you fell in love, life promised to be a terrific journey. But after you crossed the threshold of your wedding, your relationship gradually reached a place where you no longer look forward to the journey ahead. Something happened. Sometimes, you know exactly what happened, and at other times, you are absolutely clueless. At this [...]
When everything seems to be going wrong and the marriage seems to be over, can you take out a day to try saving it? What’s the point, you ask. Well, now that you are on the verge of separation, why not give it one last try, just for old time’s sake? Even if you do [...]
Believe it or not, your counselor is like your doctor. While the doctor diagnosis and treats illnesses, your counselor helps understand the underlying cause(s) of the discord in your relationship and suggests ways to rise over conflicts for a better relationship. How can a third person understand what you are going through? A lot like [...]
Can you go to your spouse when you feel scared or vulnerable? Does your spouse feel comfortable sharing his/her problems with you? Do you and your spouse not judge each other at every incident? The emotional security of your relationship is what makes the relationship content. If you do not hesitate a moment before declaring [...]
Source: http://news.byu.edu/archive10-jul-marriageprep.aspx Before they take the plunge, many engaged couples may wonder if a marriage preparation class is worthwhile. Some Brigham Young University professors asked the same question, and what they found might surprise you: yes and no. The yes: Marriage prep classes significantly increased couples’ communication quality. “We found that classes can improve couples’ [...]
At times, it is nothing but boredom that brings marriage on the verge of divorce. The seven-year itch is also about the same thing. You stay with a person long enough to lose interest in him/her and are at a loss of ideas for having fun together. Now, this itch doesn’t necessarily come after seven [...]
What does the happiness of your marriage depend on? I know there is no right or single answer to this question. There are just too many factors governing the status of your marriage. Now, tell me, what would you treat first: a seemingly unstable marriage or a seemingly depressed/anxious/angry spouse? I know there is a [...]
Something doesn’t seem right between the two of you and yet you don’t seem to understand what. What do you do? Do you let it be, expecting it to become right on its own? With this approach, you may end up making it worse. Do something the moment things seem different in a not-so-right sort [...]
How soon after your wedding do you say your marriage is over? Some couple declare it just a few months after, others say it years later, but more often than not, most people seem to say this at least once. What makes you think that your marriage is over? There are times when an incident [...]
“Why do I need to tell him/her I love her? He/she knows it already.” That may be your line of argument when asked to express love in your relationship, but you should know that sometimes expressions matter. In fact, in a lot of relationships, we see that there is no obvious reason of conflict and [...]
You are the one who decides whether to go for marriage counseling or not. You are the one who pays attention to the advice given by the counselor. You are the one who implements suggested advice to make changes in your relationship. You are the one who is the happiest when things improve in your [...]
Something is considered a success or a failure at only its closure. How would you then describe success of a marriage? Do you call a marriage successful because it has lasted a certain number of years? The next day, you may learn about the couple parting. Then, do you call a marriage a success when [...]
It is obvious to get angry when you find your partner/spouse going wrong in day-to-day decisions, forgetting things, seeming fatigued all the time, losing libido, becoming overtly sentimental or being dull. But before you go all berserk on him/her, find out if your partner is suffering from depression. The aforementioned signs indicate depression. These and [...]
If you love being married or being in a relationship, you have got to love the person you are in the relationship with. If you want your marriage to work, you cannot expect your spouse to keep doing things as you suggest or expect. You are an equal contributor to the problems and happiness in [...]
What do you think is the most dreaded word in a marriage? Divorce? No, divorce is a dreaded consequence. There is another word that may or may not bring you to the verge of divorce but will definitely shake the foundations of your marriage. The word is infidelity. Now, one may choose to define infidelity [...]
Whatever may be the underlying reason affecting your relationship or marriage, it is always a combination of anger, anxiety, and poor communication that spoils a relationship. Believe it or not, your behavior and attitude are highly responsible for the state of your relationship – whether good or bad. You cannot keep yourself away from the [...]
What do you when you notice that you haven’t been feeling well for no apparent reason for some time? Do you think that you haven’t reached a stage where you need to see a doctor? Do you live with it unless it becomes worse enough to seek help? No, a sane person would not let [...]
If you are one of those who hesitates to go to the counselor for whatever reason, is there no hope for you? There is still hope, and a lot at that. Your decision of not going to the counselor could be dictated by a number of reasons – inhibition, distance, money – but if you [...]
It takes a lot of effort to make the decision to seek counseling. Once you have decided you want to seek therapy/counseling you need to find a good couples’ counselor. Don’t let friends and family decide the counselor for you. It is you who has to visit the counselor so it has to be you [...]
Everyone has a different way to cope with anger or sadness. In such moments, some prefer isolation while others need company. And the ones who need company don’t necessarily head off to a friend’s place; instead, they pick up the phone. Most of us call someone in times of stress and distress. The conversation need [...]
Several times earlier, we have emphasized going for pre-marital counseling. The reason we insist on this is to make the groundwork right. Here are four reasons why pre-marital counseling makes sense. You start right. Pre-marital counseling helps set expectations at the beginning. You need to figure out what your and your fiancé’s expectations are from [...]
What impresses you about a person on a first date? That he/she is pleasant, courteous, and calm. Now, imagine your date in a not-so-pleasant situation. Do you think he/she will be able to retain the pleasant composure then? You may not be able to judge that in the first or the first few dates, but [...]
Everyone – married, unmarried, re-married, divorced, young, old – can hand over advice on marriage. And thanks to so many views and takes on the subject, you are likely to end up with conflicting opinions. What do you know about marriages and the counseling associated with them? The counselors of Philadelphia Area Couples Counseling Alliance [...]
Conflict is not what causes a relationship to fall apart; it is the tendency to avoid conflict that causes a couple to part ways. Yes, as Diane Sollee, of SmartMarriages.com puts it, “The number one predictor of divorce is the habitual avoidance of conflict.” When you argue, crib, and complain, you are actually interested in [...]
