We have all most likely come across couples that are going through a ‘trial separation’. Are they an effective way to deal with a marriage that is going through a rough patch? Generally speaking, no. In most cases, a trial separation becomes a permanent separation, and when it doesn’t the relationship is generally no better [...]
Married couples argue. When they don’t, there is something wrong. I don’t mean loud plate throwing (or worse) types of arguments, although they may get heated. I am talking about those every day arguments. Where arguments go wrong is in situations where one or both partners take the argument personally, or start making personal attacks. [...]
The winter blues was once a term used to describe someone who was feeling down during winter. Now it is a clear problem that affects a wide range of people around the world. We know that lack of sunlight is one of the determining factors and because of this has become a medical issue known [...]
What is worse than infidelity in a marriage? To many people, it is the constant false accusations of infidelity. Yet, those false accusations are themselves an indication of a much bigger problem – insecurity. When someone doesn’t feel secure in a relationship, they see everything as a threat no matter how harmless they are, and [...]
Who suffers most when a marriage fails? Often it’s the children. However, children suffer from a wide range of problems that we as adults, particularly parents, don’t always relate to. Simply moving to a new home in a new town can cause all sorts of problems. If they have close friends, they may even suffer [...]
You will be surprised at how many marriages come under real stress on Christmas Day. Relatives are one cause, particularly grandparents, especially if they either purchase inappropriate gift (or at least gifts that one parent considers inappropriate), or when they tend to favor one child over another. These issues can often be worked through given [...]
For many marriages, trouble is on the horizon and both partners can see it coming. There is tension in the air, communication channels are shutting down, and intimacy almost non-existent. Yet they continue on, often in the forlorn hope that matters will right themselves. Sometimes they do – most of the time they don’t. Yet, [...]
Most counselors steer well clear of issues such as diet except in situations where poor diet and alcohol or drug issues are part of the problem. When it comes to marriage or relationship counseling, some counselors are now considering dietary issues as part of an overall lifestyle change. There are a small number of counselors [...]
Christmas Day is one of those days that can deeply affect some people, and it’s not just singles either. Anyone who has lost a loved one, especially a close loved one, always feels that loss most on Christmas Day and on that loved one’s birthday. It can be particularly hard when that loved one is [...]
This may sound like a silly question – but why do you think counseling is so effective? Is it because of the training counselors receive? It certainly gives counselors the skills to be effective. But then, there are a lot of people around who have proven to be fairly effective as counselors, yet they have [...]
One of the more common excuses made by individuals when it comes to not seeking help is that their partner wasn’t willing to seek help as well. It’s an understandable reason but very misguided. Counseling is best served if both partners participate; however, it can still work wonders with only partner attending. Yes, you read [...]
As we go through life we go through periods where we suffer more stress than what could be considered the norm. For example, did you know that one of the most stressful events in your life is moving house. Other typical stressors include the death of a near relative and losing a job. Marriages also [...]
If you listen to some people, you would think that every relationship was based on sex first, and friendship and compatibility second. Too many marriages concentrate on this issue, always to the detriment of the marriage. Do you or your spouse place too much emphasis on sex in your marriage? If your answer is yes, [...]
Counseling is often a fairly intrusive process and while having the whole family involved seems like a good idea, often the opposite is true. Baring your soul in front of your children is not always a positive and it can lead to more troublesome issues. Depending on the situation, the whole family should be a [...]
One of the areas that pre-marital counseling focuses on is the maintenance of independence. In the past, one of the leading causes of marriage problems was the lack of, or perceived lack of, freedom. When a couple meet and fall in love, their focus remains on each other, often to the detriment of their friends [...]
Men’s and women’s different physical responses to their emotions influence their marital satisfaction and physical health. Please take a look at this very informative article. http://www.apa.org/monitor/dec01/badmarriage.aspx .
Marriage hit the wall? Unsure what to do next? Are you both committed to getting your marriage back on track? If you answer “yes” to those questions, particularly the last, then you can be well on the road to a happy marriage in as little as one day. Commitment is the key, along with a [...]
How do modern couples get through the first five years? How do they make it past ten years? Maintaining a relationship for a long time is not hard. Sure, you have to work at, and every couple is different, but there are some general tips that do work across the board. So who should you [...]
There is a misconception that marriage counseling is only for people whose marriage is in trouble. I guess they are the same people who only visit a doctor when they are sick and a dentist when they have a toothache. Yet the reality is that regular checkups from both a doctor and dentist helps to [...]
There can be a fine line between being a loving and caring partner and exhibiting signs of codependency. Where one can be a real positive in a marriage, the other can eventually destroy the marriage. Codependency finds a fairly happy place in many marriages, but over time, it can chew away at one person, especially [...]
Selecting a marriage counselor can be a difficult step for many couples. Do you ask friends or relatives, check a locality guide, or just call the first one in the phone book? You do need to be selective when it comes to seeing a counselor; they are not all the same and those differences can [...]
There used to be a school of thought that suggested that infidelity was good for some relationships. It rarely is in a direct way, but in an indirect way, it can be. Why? In many instances, infidelity draws a couple into counseling and, if successful, leads to a stronger, more successful relationship. However, it’s the [...]
The role of a marriage counselor has long been one that was looked down upon. Going to see a ‘therapist’ was fine when it came to working out your own issues, but seeing a marriage counselor was a no-no. This is changing and changing rapidly for the better, and US News now rates the role [...]
One of the more common problems that couples bring to a counselor is that which revolves around rejection. Counselors often hear the term “I feel like he/she is rejecting me”. Are they really rejecting you? That’s one of the first issues that counselors need to sort through. Often, the problem can be broken down into [...]
Anxiety is one of the least understood problems in our general society. It is also one of the most debilitating and can cause huge problems within relationships, particularly marriages. Yet anxiety is treatable and people can learn to control their emotions in situations where anxiety and a feeling of panic used to exist. Being anxious [...]
Relationships are important to almost all human beings. Couples, whether married or just living together, have a special relationship where the expectation is for a lifetime of happiness. While that may be the expectation, it doesn’t eventuate on its own; it takes a lot of effort from both partners. Where many couples struggle is in [...]
One of the most common threads that marriage counselors hear when it comes to marriages in trouble is that life has become predictable, boring, and their marriage has lost its zing. I hate to be rude, but I’m going to be anyway. If that’s the case, then you are both at fault, no one else. [...]
There are many individuals who lead their lives at a million miles an hour. They have little time to look after their own health, let alone something as trivial as a marriage. But when that marriage comes to an end, they are full of recrimination on themselves, often asking ‘why didn’t I see that coming’. [...]
The self-help marketplace is full of content. Some of it good, some of it bad, and some of it just plain ridiculous. Age is not an indication of quality either and as time goes by, the same tired DVDs are taken up by those smart enough to fool the search engines for a little while, [...]
There are more marriage bust-ups during the Christmas period than at any other time of year. Do you know why? There are multiple factors at play, and many involve extended family. However, Christmas time is also a time when a lot of decisions are made, often with little notice. For marriages that are already unstable, [...]
