Archive for the 'Family' Category


Could Your Child Have Asperger’s Syndrome?

In the last few years, there has been an increase in the recognition of and treatment of Asperger’s syndrome. I work with many children and adults who have Asperger’s Syndrome. I want to share some thoughts and resources for parents. In later posts, I will address the strengths and great future prospects for people with [...]

Girl Toys? Boy Toys?

A while back I wrote a couple of posts about getting cheap or free toys and activities for your kids.  I said I would talk about the issue of girl toys v. boy toys. So here are some thoughts.

Old and New Ideas for Kids’ Toys and Activities II

This is a sequel to my earlier post about interesting ideas for kids’ gifts and activities. Another suggestion is to visit all the NASA web sites.  Start with the main NASA site and go around to other sites as well. The NASA sites have age appropriate activities in all sorts of math and science geared [...]

Old and New Ideas for Kids’ Toys and Activities I

Christmas may have passed by the time this entry is posted.  Nevertheless, it’s always the season to think about getting toys for kids.  Birthday and anniversary presents and gifts for others are always needed.  I want to throw out some ideas that may not have occurred to you. But, first, I want to raise another [...]

How to Teach Your Kid Not to be Mean!

In the last year or so, there has been a lot of media attention on a serious problem with kids—bullying.  Many children have committed suicide.  Others have gone into deep depression. On an adult level, we’ve seen deaths and injuries of young women and women who have had to experience hazing to be accepted. Several [...]

What about the Kids When You Decide to Divorce? Post I

You and your partner have decided to split.  You have kids at home.  What should you be thinking about in terms of their short run, medium run, and long-term needs?  I raise this long question because I hear all sorts of stories as I counsel couples.  I also see children, both kids and adults, who [...]

Creating Holiday Traditions Together

Creating holiday traditions and rituals can be good for your marriage. Having special activities you do together can help you feel more like a cohesive unit. It can also help you create memories for years to come. It’s important to look at your current holiday traditions. Do you have any? Sometimes people don’t even recognize [...]

Trusting Your Partner’s Parenting

Do you trust in your partner’s parenting skills? When you aren’t home do you feel secure in your partner doing a good job with the children? Or do you worry that your partner doesn’t do as good of a job as you do? It’s imperative for the health of your marriage as well as for [...]

How Not Forgiving Your Parents Can Impact Your Marriage

Whether your parents committed a minor infraction or a major one, the inability or unwillingness to forgive them can have serious consequences. Holding a grudge against them will impact your marriage. Even if you don’t talk to your parents, your anger toward them still plays a bigger role in your life than you’d like to [...]

When Parents Fight….

Should parents fight?  Should parents fight in front of their kids?  Behind locked doors?  What happens to the children when parents fight?  Here are some thoughts and ways to handle it better. People have differences, even parents.  So, how do you handle them?  Does handling involve discussion, arguments, yelling, screaming, rage, demeaning the other, hitting [...]

Getting through the Holidays…

The holidays are coming up fast.  Family and friends loom at the door.  Yet the holidays sometimes mean that we are not going to be happy.  We are reminded of family fights, lost friends, other painful issues.  Are there some ways to get through the holidays without feeling depressed? Let me start off with a [...]

Who’s Raising Your Kids?

We usually think that we and other people are raising our kids.  We make up our lists of those entrusted with this task—ourselves, our partners, our families and friends, our baby sitters, and our child care people.  But what about the non-people that should be on the list?  And what are our kids learning? (BTW, [...]

Staying Connected After the Birth of a Baby

Many couples find themselves becoming distanced after the birth of their first baby. There are some strategies couples can use to help them stay connected after bringing home a new member of the family. It can take some extra time and effort to keep the intimacy and connection. Sometimes fathers feel left out when a [...]

Preparing for a Disaster #1

Are you prepared for a disaster?  What if there is a hurricane, fire, earthquake or tornado? Are you ready?  I want to begin to share some suggestions with you.  In terms of my background in this area, I have been Red Cross trained and am a member of my local Medical Service Corps.  I am [...]

How To Deal With Your Unemployed Partner-part 2

So, let’s talk about what you can do to help your partner get through this period of unemployment. As noted in the previous post, you’ve gotten a sense of possibilities.  Make a plan with different degrees of urgency.  That means that you or your partner may have to leave for a while to find work.  [...]

In A Crisis, Ask For Help And Love!

A client came in recently and mentioned that his wife was spaced out.  Why?  Her sister has cancer. He said he was doing the best he could to deal with his wife.  I asked him what he wanted.  He looked surprised.  Why?  Because she’s your sister in law. You must have feelings about her.  When [...]

Resolving Conflict About Parenting

Differences in parenting ideas can be a major source of conflict for many couples. People often have different views about what strategies work best. They also have different ideas about parenting philosophies in general. Parenting requires a lot of flexibility and parents must learn to adapt to their changing needs. Each child may respond very [...]

Kids and Restaurants

Should you take your child(ren) to a restaurant?  Which  restaurant?  When?    Yes, this is a touchy subject.  There was a restaurant in Pennsylvania recently featured in the news that banned kids under 6.  Is this a good idea?  And—what should you do when you take your child(ren) to a restaurant? You need to know your child [...]

Is Your Relationship Ready For A Baby?

Becoming a parent is an incredibly joyous experience. It is also a major transitional period for your relationship. A recent Wall Street Journal article highlights the struggle that many new parents experience.  If you are planning to bring a child into your partnership, it’s important to be aware of the changes that will impact your [...]

So Your Child is LGBT…

You have just welcomed this beautiful new baby into your life and look forward to its growing up with you. As s/he starts to develop, you’re puzzled by her/his behavior and, sometimes, by the way s/he looks.  You see yourself as a modern parent who believes all children are born innocent.  What should you do? [...]

Parenting And Letting Go

You need to let go continuously as your child grows up.  Some thoughts… Being a parent is a constant process of letting go.  Even shortly after birth, the process starts.  You hand your precious newborn to someone else for a second.  Will s/he drop your heir?   Your newborn is crying in her/his crib. You don’t [...]

Some Warning Notes About Teens, Alcohol, Drugs, and Meds

A recent tragedy where we live has prompted me to write this post.  A 14- year-old “A” student, a model teenager, had a sleepover at her house with friends just like her.  It seems she brought out some alcohol and they all drank.  All got sick.  She died. You must talk with your teens, especially a [...]

Picking the Right Pet for Your Child

Your child or your children are pushing for a pet.  How do you go about choosing the right pet?  Here are some suggestions: There are a lot of first questions. How old is your child?  Children? What does your child want? How big is your house or apartment?  Are there any housing restrictions? Can you [...]

After the Split or Divorce…

You just split up.  Aside from financial concerns, children, pets, houses, or plants, and who gets the friends, what can you expect?  How should you behave?  What should you do?  Here are some suggestions. You should expect a certain amount of personal chaos.  You’ve had your life changed and your routines disrupted.  You should expect [...]

Wisdom About Teenage Girls

Very recently I heard an interview on the Australian Broadcasting Company with Michelle Mitchell.  She talked about teenage girls—what they think and how parents can best work with them. As you will see, she has researched these girls in Australia, which shows how common these patterns are. I want to share her thoughts with you [...]

The Conversation with Your Aging Parent(s)

At some point, you need to talk to your aging parents about everything—their plans, their desires, their assets, their past.  You can’t delay the conversation. Here are some of the topics you need to cover and some tips on how to proceed. You first need to think about your relationships with your parents.  I’m speculating [...]

Fighting in Front of the Kids

Everyone’s heard that you “shouldn’t fight in front of the kids.” However, is this really sound advice? Without ever doing so, how do the kids learn how to resolve conflict. Parents always tell kids, “don’t fight with your brother” or “stop fighting with your sister.” Kids are told not to do it and parents don’t [...]

Preparing Your Family For A Trip To Another Country

So you’re thinking of taking your family to another country?  What should you do to prepare your kids for this trip?  Let me suggest some ideas for your offspring.  I’m going to try to fit these ideas for kids of different ages.  I will tell you what my wife and I did. If you tell [...]

Parenting: Setting The Bar For Appropriate Behavior

Parents, do you know what age appropriate behavior is?  Do you know how to help your teen behave appropriately?  Do you know what kind of activities s/he should be doing?  Do you know how to be effective in enforcing rules?  Here are some suggestions. First, remember you were once a teenager.  Try to remember what [...]

Traveling with Younger Kids—Some Ideas

Traveling with younger kids can be a trial.  But the verdict can be favorable to the whole family—here are some tips. For those who can afford it, many newer cars have entertainment centers in the back for children.  Not that the children aren’t already amusing themselves with all sorts of handheld devices, which cost substantially [...]