It’s common for couples to disagree over raising the kids. However, these disagreements aren’t necessarily bad. In fact, disagreements about parenting issues can show that you are both involved. What makes the difference in whether or not these disagreements are productive, depends on how you settle them. Arguing about parenting issues isn’t a bad thing. [...]
There’s been a lot of attention lately abut the relationships between adult kids and their still relatively young parents. Some “kids” have moved back home because of the poor economy and the high cost of housing. Other “kids” still need additional monetary support even when working. I’d like to address some issues not often talked [...]
I’ve written a number of posts about helping children and adults with Asperger’s. These are some thoughts about the high school period. High school can be especially challenging for kids with Asperger’s Syndrome. Like other students, an Aspie has to change classes regularly during the day and throughout the school year. She or he can [...]
Many couples live in a world that is completely child-centered. Their relationship revolves around the childrens’ needs and activities. Of course, it is great to see a couple working together to raise a family. However, some couples fall into the trap of making their entire marriage only about the children. There is research that shows [...]
In several posts I talked about kids with Asperger’s. I want to look at the issues kids face in High School and some suggestions for helping them. Your child will face many challenges in High School. One major challenge is that s/he will go to many more different classes and activities. Aspies often do not [...]
I’ve written several posts about working with younger children in the early grades of primary school. I’d like to talk about Asperger’s kids and the middle school years. To refresh your memory, the period between around seven and puberty is called latency. (I deliberately left out when puberty starts. I will explain that shortly, and [...]
Although discussing money may not be the most romantic conversation in the world, it is important to periodically review your family’s finances. As things change over the years, your budget and your financial needs are likely to change too. It’s important to discuss your goals and your current financial status and make necessary changes. As [...]
I’ve written earlier suggestions regarding children with Asperger’s Syndrome. I have some other suggestions for school. Here are a few: At this time, despite the controversy surrounding the redefinition of Asperger’s in the new DSM 5—and you should be paying attention to that in your local newspapers—primary schools seem to be more accommodating to Aspies. [...]
A couple’s extended family can either support the marriage, be a neutral force, or they can add stress to the relationship. It’s important to learn that although you can’t control their behaviors, you can control how you respond to them. It is possible to have a happy and healthy marriage even if you have difficult [...]
The Brady Bunch made it look easy to blend two families. However, in real life, it usually doesn’t go so smoothly. Blending two families together into one can be very difficult and without appropriate care, there can be a lot of conflict. Becoming a step-parent is a difficult job. Developing a relationship with step-children can [...]
In the last few years, there has been an increase in the recognition of and treatment of Asperger’s syndrome. I work with many children and adults who have Asperger’s Syndrome. I want to share some thoughts and resources for parents. In later posts, I will address the strengths and great future prospects for people with [...]
A while back I wrote a couple of posts about getting cheap or free toys and activities for your kids. I said I would talk about the issue of girl toys v. boy toys. So here are some thoughts.
This is a sequel to my earlier post about interesting ideas for kids’ gifts and activities. Another suggestion is to visit all the NASA web sites. Start with the main NASA site and go around to other sites as well. The NASA sites have age appropriate activities in all sorts of math and science geared [...]
Christmas may have passed by the time this entry is posted. Nevertheless, it’s always the season to think about getting toys for kids. Birthday and anniversary presents and gifts for others are always needed. I want to throw out some ideas that may not have occurred to you. But, first, I want to raise another [...]
In the last year or so, there has been a lot of media attention on a serious problem with kids—bullying. Many children have committed suicide. Others have gone into deep depression. On an adult level, we’ve seen deaths and injuries of young women and women who have had to experience hazing to be accepted. Several [...]
You and your partner have decided to split. You have kids at home. What should you be thinking about in terms of their short run, medium run, and long-term needs? I raise this long question because I hear all sorts of stories as I counsel couples. I also see children, both kids and adults, who [...]
Creating holiday traditions and rituals can be good for your marriage. Having special activities you do together can help you feel more like a cohesive unit. It can also help you create memories for years to come. It’s important to look at your current holiday traditions. Do you have any? Sometimes people don’t even recognize [...]
Do you trust in your partner’s parenting skills? When you aren’t home do you feel secure in your partner doing a good job with the children? Or do you worry that your partner doesn’t do as good of a job as you do? It’s imperative for the health of your marriage as well as for [...]
Whether your parents committed a minor infraction or a major one, the inability or unwillingness to forgive them can have serious consequences. Holding a grudge against them will impact your marriage. Even if you don’t talk to your parents, your anger toward them still plays a bigger role in your life than you’d like to [...]
Should parents fight? Should parents fight in front of their kids? Behind locked doors? What happens to the children when parents fight? Here are some thoughts and ways to handle it better. People have differences, even parents. So, how do you handle them? Does handling involve discussion, arguments, yelling, screaming, rage, demeaning the other, hitting [...]
The holidays are coming up fast. Family and friends loom at the door. Yet the holidays sometimes mean that we are not going to be happy. We are reminded of family fights, lost friends, other painful issues. Are there some ways to get through the holidays without feeling depressed? Let me start off with a [...]
We usually think that we and other people are raising our kids. We make up our lists of those entrusted with this task—ourselves, our partners, our families and friends, our baby sitters, and our child care people. But what about the non-people that should be on the list? And what are our kids learning? (BTW, [...]
Many couples find themselves becoming distanced after the birth of their first baby. There are some strategies couples can use to help them stay connected after bringing home a new member of the family. It can take some extra time and effort to keep the intimacy and connection. Sometimes fathers feel left out when a [...]
Are you prepared for a disaster? What if there is a hurricane, fire, earthquake or tornado? Are you ready? I want to begin to share some suggestions with you. In terms of my background in this area, I have been Red Cross trained and am a member of my local Medical Service Corps. I am [...]
So, let’s talk about what you can do to help your partner get through this period of unemployment. As noted in the previous post, you’ve gotten a sense of possibilities. Make a plan with different degrees of urgency. That means that you or your partner may have to leave for a while to find work. [...]
A client came in recently and mentioned that his wife was spaced out. Why? Her sister has cancer. He said he was doing the best he could to deal with his wife. I asked him what he wanted. He looked surprised. Why? Because she’s your sister in law. You must have feelings about her. When [...]
Differences in parenting ideas can be a major source of conflict for many couples. People often have different views about what strategies work best. They also have different ideas about parenting philosophies in general. Parenting requires a lot of flexibility and parents must learn to adapt to their changing needs. Each child may respond very [...]
Should you take your child(ren) to a restaurant? Which restaurant? When? Yes, this is a touchy subject. There was a restaurant in Pennsylvania recently featured in the news that banned kids under 6. Is this a good idea? And—what should you do when you take your child(ren) to a restaurant? You need to know your child [...]
Becoming a parent is an incredibly joyous experience. It is also a major transitional period for your relationship. A recent Wall Street Journal article highlights the struggle that many new parents experience. If you are planning to bring a child into your partnership, it’s important to be aware of the changes that will impact your [...]
You have just welcomed this beautiful new baby into your life and look forward to its growing up with you. As s/he starts to develop, you’re puzzled by her/his behavior and, sometimes, by the way s/he looks. You see yourself as a modern parent who believes all children are born innocent. What should you do? [...]
