You need to let go continuously as your child grows up. Some thoughts… Being a parent is a constant process of letting go. Even shortly after birth, the process starts. You hand your precious newborn to someone else for a second. Will s/he drop your heir? Your newborn is crying in her/his crib. You don’t [...]
A recent tragedy where we live has prompted me to write this post. A 14- year-old “A” student, a model teenager, had a sleepover at her house with friends just like her. It seems she brought out some alcohol and they all drank. All got sick. She died. You must talk with your teens, especially a [...]
Your child or your children are pushing for a pet. How do you go about choosing the right pet? Here are some suggestions: There are a lot of first questions. How old is your child? Children? What does your child want? How big is your house or apartment? Are there any housing restrictions? Can you [...]
You just split up. Aside from financial concerns, children, pets, houses, or plants, and who gets the friends, what can you expect? How should you behave? What should you do? Here are some suggestions. You should expect a certain amount of personal chaos. You’ve had your life changed and your routines disrupted. You should expect [...]
Very recently I heard an interview on the Australian Broadcasting Company with Michelle Mitchell. She talked about teenage girls—what they think and how parents can best work with them. As you will see, she has researched these girls in Australia, which shows how common these patterns are. I want to share her thoughts with you [...]
At some point, you need to talk to your aging parents about everything—their plans, their desires, their assets, their past. You can’t delay the conversation. Here are some of the topics you need to cover and some tips on how to proceed. You first need to think about your relationships with your parents. I’m speculating [...]
Everyone’s heard that you “shouldn’t fight in front of the kids.” However, is this really sound advice? Without ever doing so, how do the kids learn how to resolve conflict. Parents always tell kids, “don’t fight with your brother” or “stop fighting with your sister.” Kids are told not to do it and parents don’t [...]
So you’re thinking of taking your family to another country? What should you do to prepare your kids for this trip? Let me suggest some ideas for your offspring. I’m going to try to fit these ideas for kids of different ages. I will tell you what my wife and I did. If you tell [...]
Parents, do you know what age appropriate behavior is? Do you know how to help your teen behave appropriately? Do you know what kind of activities s/he should be doing? Do you know how to be effective in enforcing rules? Here are some suggestions. First, remember you were once a teenager. Try to remember what [...]
Traveling with younger kids can be a trial. But the verdict can be favorable to the whole family—here are some tips. For those who can afford it, many newer cars have entertainment centers in the back for children. Not that the children aren’t already amusing themselves with all sorts of handheld devices, which cost substantially [...]
Many couples spend countless hours planning their wedding day. However, a lot of those same couples don’t spend nearly as much time planning their marriage together. It is very important for couples to talk about their goals, values, and hopes and dreams prior to getting married to ensure that these will be compatible with their [...]
You’re thinking of having another child. You are concerned about how this new child will affect your present one. Here are some tips. First, recognize that the newbie will affect the “oldbie.” Don’t minimize the challenge s/he faces. It’s competition for attention and energy and love. We have two cats. Our older cat is shorthaired; [...]
You want your child to go to college. Assuming the child wants to and there is money available, you should have some good family conversations about what happens next. Here are some tips: First, where should the child go to school? Research has shown that the child’s choice of college is usually the best guarantee [...]
Were you left out of a family ceremony? Did you feel slighted, rejected, and totally trashed? Did you have thoughts of rage, contemplating warm and cold revenge? Yes, you should feel upset – but you need to get better. So, here’s a tip. Let’s start with an example. One of my clients has had lifelong [...]
You and your partner will go through some profound changes after the baby is born. Here are some issues to think about and some tips to help both of you. Once you begin to understand the language and needs of the newborn, you will feel more comfortable in dealing with your own changes. As mentioned [...]
Planning to have your first child? There are many things you should plan for because that child will change you and your partner’s lives! What I plan to do in this set of postings is to address a series of challenges and how to address them. The first one is that of the newborn coming home [...]
For many couples, the subject of their in-laws can be a difficult subject. Discord between a spouse and a parent can be very stressful. It can be damaging to the marriage as well. Learning how to get along with your in-laws can be difficult yet valuable. Whether your in-laws live thousands of miles away and [...]
Many families struggle to pay the bills each month. The American dream says we should work hard so we can afford a house, a car, and lots of nice things. Then once we have some equity in our house, we should upgrade to a bigger house and take out a new 30-year mortgage. We should [...]
Having fun together helps build relationships within the family. Sometimes parents have difficulty letting go and just enjoying the moment. Stress of financial problems, work, and household responsibilities get in the way of just having fun. Sometimes only one of the parents seems devoted to spending time having fun while the other parent gains the [...]
In case you’re looking for some free advice, and you haven’t yet made the decision to go forward with real therapy or marriage counseling, I want to introduce you to a website we started 4 years ago. Talk About Marriage (http://talkaboutmarriage.com) was started so the public would have an open, supportive forum where they could [...]
When a couple disagrees on parenting issues, it can create a variety of problems. Perhaps your spouse wants to make sure the kids are happy all the time. And your goal is to make sure they are responsible, not happy. This can wreak havoc on a marriage. Ideally, it would have been great to have [...]
For couples who are certain they want children, timing can be everything. And unlike most things in life these days that we can time down to the smallest detail, pregnancy isn’t guaranteed. For some couples, it can take months; other couples, years; and for some couples, it does not happen at all. Meanwhile, there’s plenty [...]
Not so long ago, getting married and choosing not to have children seemed unthinkable. The thought process in the past was that people got married so they could raise children together. And the purpose of raising children was to carry on your legacy (not to mention, they could help out around the farm). Today, many [...]
With children being very technological savvy these days, it is important for parents to work together to keep children safe. Children are surrounded by potential threats, sexual images, and pressure to make unhealthy choices. Whether the danger involves cyber bullying or potential predators, there are daily risks for children who surf the internet and use [...]
Are you and your partner thinking of having children? Do you know all the ways you approach your differences? Have you worked them out? Why not try having a pet first? This animal will give you a chance to find out these differences. For example, what kind of animal do you or your partner want? [...]
Sugar and spice and all that’s nice. That’s what little girls are made of. Father daughter relationships are complicated. One minute they are your little girl in pigtails, following you everywhere. You’re the only man in their lives. Then one day she grows up. She spends more time with her friends, starts wearing makeup, and [...]
Ever wonder what makes a “happy” family? Or, what your family could do differently? Do you feel like your family is missing out on something better? The following is a list of “rules” that I give to families who are looking to strengthen their relationships and create a more peaceful and loving home: Have family [...]
Should our 5 year old daughter get her ears pierced? Should we let our 10 year old wear makeup? Should our 14 year old go on an overnight trip with a group of friends? Is our 13 year old ready to date? All of these questions have one thing common-tough decision making. You may worry that [...]
Addiction of any sort is a serious issue for any individual. It creates even more problems for people in couples and families. Everybody becomes part of the chaos and destruction the addicted person brings to the scene. Not only are the effects immediate, causing emotional, social, physical, and financial disorder, but they can be long [...]
Take Time To Do: Sometimes, as parents, we are so busy trying to focus on things we feel are necessary to make our children happy that we lose track of what really makes children happy. Of course, we are subject to be guided by the latest trend in toys, electronics, cell phones, etc., but in [...]
