One of the more common problems couples face is the loss of passion or romance in their relationship. This usually happens over an extended period of time though even newly married couples can experience a certain diminishing that causes concern. Couples counselor are experts at focusing on this particular issue.
A loss of passion between two [...]
Finding the right couples counselor for you takes time and patience. Even if you’re in crisis, it’s important to do the needed research in order to find the appropriate therapist. Couples counseling is an investment and you want to make sure you’re on the right track from the beginning.
So what are the ways you know [...]
Ellen and Eddie lived in the Midwest and worked as dairy farmers. They had been married for 21 years. Eddie had always had temperamental outbursts but lately, they had gotten worse. Their financial situation was becoming extremely stressed because their farm wasn’t generating the money it used to. Both were under a substantial amount of [...]
“I didn’t know what to expect at first. I grew up with my dad referring to counselors and psychologists as “head shrinkers”, so I certainly didn’t have a good feeling. But after a session or two, I really started to appreciate it. I realized that it actually, well…it feels good to talk about what’s on [...]
When Harris and Stella visited a couple’s counselor 8 years ago, they were in dire need. Stella was threatening to leave the marriage and had already started legal action. It was everything Harris could do to convince her to attend one session. But both were grateful they did. After a half year’s worth of attendance, [...]
Audrey and Franklin had some concerns when they decided to see a couples counselor that would help with their marital problems. Both were at an extremely polarized point with one another, using friends and family members as allies to join in on their argument. Of course, this only exacerbated the problem. Both Audrey and Franklin [...]
When Georgia had twins, her whole life had changed. She went from being a workaholic and a “weekend warrior” to a busy mom, with no time for her online business or personal endeavors. Her husband Jake picked up the slack work-wise by taking on an additional job assignment, leaving him very little time to help [...]
Both Ike and Hannah are very active in their church - a small but bustling Christian church in their town. When they first began having problems, they wanted to make sure they found a couples counselor who spoke their language and understand the couple’s need for spiritual guidance and prayer in addition to psychological counseling.
Hannah [...]
It’s not always easy to tell if your marriage or relationship is in need of couples counseling. All relationships, including friendships, have their own rhythm, with varying ebbs and flows. This is often difficult to accept, especially for newer relationships. The new couple wants to believe that the “enmeshment” phase will last forever. This is [...]
The marriage counselor knew he had little time and needed to work fast. But this wasn’t a problem. He saw Lynn and Farrel’s problem as manageable and knew he could guide them in the right direction quickly.
Lynn and Farrel were getting married in 6 months. Lynn came from a well-to-do family and put a lot [...]
Often marriages can get into ruts. Many couples express a feeling of confusion during their first few sessions with a marriage counselor. They wonder, “How did we get here?” They’re not sure when something went off course, but they definitely feel a chasm has formed, slowly, sometimes over years. This was how Rhonda felt about [...]
Frances and Bobby had many expectations when they entered counseling. After years of what they both referred to as a “frozen marriage”, both entered expecting a quick fix. Both were successful business people and were used to delegating and delivering orders quickly and effectively. Both were viewed as very strict employers with a bit of [...]
Layna and Frederick had recently moved to the U.S. from Germany and were having some adjustment problems. Frederick’s company relocated to America and offered him a higher paying position. Layna was hesitant at first; she wouldn’t be around any of her family or friends and wasn’t that fond of their new location in the Midwest. [...]
Talking about difficult material can be very provocative for couples. “Owning up” to your responsibility when there is a dynamic problem can cause defensiveness or projection. Projection can occur in couples counseling as well as individual therapy. Projection is defined as:
In psychology, psychological projection (or projection bias) is a defense mechanism in which one attributes [...]
Wendy was concerned about becoming an alcoholic before she even picked up a drink. Both her father and mother were alcoholics. Her mother had died from the disease and her father was in a recovery program but having limited success. When Wendy married Shane, she was concerned he might have a problem as well, since [...]
This is a day and age of the “quick fix.” People want results yesterday. The idea of healing is becoming harder to comprehend because healing by its very nature is progressive - it takes time. Laura and James, a couple married 4 years, began to learn that lesson after several sessions with a marriage counselor.
Laura [...]
“More couples get divorced within the first 2 to 3 years of marriage than at any subsequent interval; most of their undoing may stem from a failure to undo their complicities.”
(Sarnoff, Love Centered-Marriage in a Self-Centered World).
Terry and Todd are a young couple, in their mid-20’s, and having marital difficulties. Both are concerned they [...]
Marriage counseling isn’t a magic solution. It will not fix a broken marriage. It can help mend longstanding wounds and bridge gaps. There are times when a couples counselor will advise the couple to separate, in order to clarify and understand a situation better. This was the case with Samantha and Tim.
Samantha and Tim had [...]
Terrence was at his wit’s end. He was currently working two jobs to keep their family afloat. Sharon had quit her job a year before and still hadn’t found another one. She had found a nice position several months prior but it lasted only a few weeks. Sharon was an active alcoholic and her addictive [...]
When Barb and Damian married, they knew their schedule would be a challenge but they figured they would manage it. Barb is an emergency room nurse who works evening and Damian started his own law practice, where he spent many long days that extended into the night.
Their first two years of marriage proved to be [...]
Margot had a difficult childhood by anyone’s standards: her father had left her family when she was 4 years old and her mother died 3 years later. Margot was sent to live with her grandfather, who was verbally abusive. She was living on her own by the time she was 14. She dropped out of [...]
All marriages have their ups and downs, as do all relationships. Ebbs and flows are a natural part of human connectedness. So how do you know when you’ve moved beyond those commons problems to ones that may need the aid of a marriage counselor?
First, you’ll notice that you and your partner have less and less [...]
Mark never dreamed of the day his strong, independent mother would need his help as well as housing. He also didn’t envision this happening within 2 years of his marriage to Marie. When the couple sat before their marriage counselor, Marie had this to say:
I thought no way. No way! This is not how I [...]
Many people have many different reasons for not attending couples counseling. It ranges from the practical to the moral. Either “I don’t have time or money for it” or “I don’t like airing our dirty laundry. Our problems are our business.” Whatever the reasons, the problems remain the same, unchanged and stagnating. Problems don’t tend [...]
Integrating two different families is rarely an easy thing. During these times, our need to be flexible is of the utmost importance. Divorce rates remain high and families need to have a certain porousness in order to move forward. Thus was the case for Angela and Tim, both recently divorced and seeking marriage counseling. According [...]
It’s not always easy to manage the time for the work that marriage counseling often entails. Such was the case of Jorge and Marie. Both had started a business that was working in the red for the first few years. They were consumed with making it work and it was putting a great deal of [...]
When Marta and Graham entered couple’s counseling, they both felt excited about it, which isn’t always the most typical response! But both were open-minded, liberal people who looked forward to an opportunity to get to know themselves and one another better. They entered because Graham felt Marta, after 12 years of marriage, wasn’t fully committed [...]
A common refrain heard from many couples who aren’t attending marriage counseling is, “We don’t have the time” or “We’re planning on it at some point, but not now.” In this day and age where every minute seems full, it is often hard to make the time for counseling. If you have children, there are [...]
Psychoanalytic theory was first developed by Sigmund Freud and later expounded upon by Carl Jung, Erik Erikson and a host of others. The idea that propels psychoanalytic theory is that the unconscious mind drives our actions and the more we become aware of and explore the unconscious mind, the more whole we become, as well [...]
Farber and Lee had planned on having children ever since they were high school sweethearts. They had picked out a name for the their first child shortly out of college. When they got married and Lee became pregnant shortly afterwards, everything was going according to plan. Then why were they sitting before a marriage counselor [...]
