Many people forego couples counseling because they often believe their relationship is “as good as it gets.” Often, when coping with poor role modeling and low self-esteem issues, an ailing relationship seems almost the norm. Some are even taught to withstand at all costs, as a way of proving your love - the “stand by [...]
Liza and Thomas are the stereotypical examples of “jet setters.” Both are high-profiled business people. Liza lectures and advises companies around the world on the importance of global marketing. Thomas is an international lawyers with clients across the globe. Both “live” in New York City but last year, they were only there a total of [...]
You have a choice at some point within your marriage. And its only for you to decide. Do you pursue a path such as marriage counseling or do you depart ways? And honestly, its only for you to say. If you feel that counseling would be beyond you at this point, then separation is your [...]
When Maurice and Sharon started marriage counseling, they didn’t think there was much chance. Both had separated from one another for over 2 years. They had also began seeing other people. But after this time apart, both considered themselves deeply unhappy. They decided on counseling because it gave them an opportunity to explore their marital [...]
Most of us can make some educated guesses when it comes to the topics most couples are most likely to argue about and what will bring them in front of a couples counselor. We can simply look back at our own history or use common sense. According to relationship psychotherapist Paula Hall, the top five [...]
Relationships are continuous, even when they end. There is a connectivity that is created between two people that can never be taken away, an intimacy and knowledge of one another that becomes part of each person. Some couples revisit their connection, even years after a separation or a divorce. Couples counseling can help renegotiate this [...]
Living together has become commonplace for many couples who are either unsure about marriage or want to give it a “trial run.” It can serve as a platform for couples to work through issues surrounding finances, lifestyle and the tasks of running a household. On the flip side, it can also be used as a [...]
Some couples are advised to obtain couples counseling prior to marriage. Its a good way to ascertain the couple’s dynamic and do some preventative work on their communication skills. Such was the case of Larry and Gail, who were both in their early 20’s and soon to be wed.
After several sessions of couples counseling, [...]
Ryan and Anita entered couples counseling after experiencing a devastating financial loss - one that cost them a majority of their savings. While both of them had high-paying jobs, they knew it would take years to recoup. On top of it, Anita held Ryan to blame for the loss. She had suggested safer financial options [...]
Belinda and Sam had been married over 40 years before entering couples counseling. Both had decided to go on a worldwide trip for which they had saved for over 15 years. Both seemed like an easy-going pair, humorous and carefree. So what brought them into counseling?
According to Sam:
I wasn’t willing to go on a long [...]
Frank and Hannah entered into couples counseling following the birth of their third child, who was mentally handicapped. Hannah felt that Frank had “jumped ship” and wasn’t having much to do with the raising of their child. Frank felt that Hannah was overly focused on the child because of her handicap and “wasn’t letting the [...]
As we explore more deeply the complex dynamics that exist between two partners, we begin to see the intricacies of communication. When a couple enters into marriage counseling, they often relearn (or learn for the first time) how to communicate properly, even how to argue properly.
Arguing can be healthy way to express emotion and [...]
Nick and Frank sat down before a couples counselor, quite unsure of what to do. Both were new to counseling and weren’t sure how to proceed. When one spoke, the other began speaking. They were both nervous and in need of guidance. The couples counselor then asked each of them to explain why they were [...]
Ferris and Holly had entered marriage counseling 3 years after having their first baby. Both were in agreement regarding the ways they wanted to raise their little girl at first. It wasn’t until years into the growth of the child that they started to encounter problems.
According to Holly:
Ferris is into this “let her do [...]
When a marriage combines families, its an adjustment to say the least. Many families and couples enter marriage counseling during this transitional phase. And in day where divorce is still a common option between married couples, more and more families are needing to learn the skills to integrate well.
Many difficulties can arise - [...]
Often the mere thought that your marriage may be in trouble is enough of an indicator that its time to look for a couples counselor. Perhaps you’ve been picking up some of the signs - nobody knows your marriage as well as you and your partner - but it hasn’t been voiced yet. Or contrarily, [...]
For some couples, even the talk of marriage counseling can be a pivotal moment.
Listen to what Tina had to say:
I didn’t know what to say to Sam but I knew something had to be done. Our marriage was obviously falling apart. I didn’t know where to turn. One of the priests at our church [...]
When Frank and Lisa entered the office of their new couples counselor, it was evident they were both quite anxious. Not so much to sit before a marriage counselor, but they feared the worst: their marriage was over. Frank shared with the counselor the many ways he’s been working on his marriage, trying almost too [...]
When there is a breech of trust in a relationship or marriage, couples counseling is often sought out as a way to rectify it. It’s not an easy path - it can often be a long journey that takes times - but its possible when certain guidelines are followed.
A lack of trust can be [...]
Lea and Hank sat down before the couples counselor visibly upset. Both had entered counseling because a seemingly small problem had become increasingly large in their household. This problem? Housework. Specifically the dishes.
According to Lea:
I feel ridiculous spending money on a counselor right now. I mean, for something like dirty dishes. But I feel [...]
The first year of a marriage can be a challenging and exciting time. Many couples assume that their new marriage will simply be an extension of their dating experience. These same couples are often met with confusion, anxiety and surprise when it doesn’t turn out that way. Hence why couples counseling is such a resource [...]
In this busy day and age, its often difficult to make the time for couples counseling let alone recognize the signs that you may really need it. Who has time to make for another appointment throughout an already stressful, packed week? And do you really need it? Maybe you’re not talking to your spouse that [...]
As we delve deeper into the ways to communicate in a more healthy manner, it’s important to remember the difference between explaining the issue at hand to your partner without blaming. Couples counselors often see a high degree of blame in problematic relationships. Blaming is focusing on the person not the issue. It’s also more [...]
Intimacy can seem like an elusive thing. It’s that certain bond or closeness that you share with only your partner. The stronger that bond, the more “lasting power” a relationship has. But like many aspects of a marriage, there is an “ebb and flow” element to it. It’s important to recognize this in order to [...]
Often couples counselors see their fair share of seemingly petty problems when couples sit before them. Of course, these problems are not petty to the couple and most often, these issues represent bigger underlying themes. This was the case with Betsy and Jason, a young couple married 5 years living in the suburbs.
According to Jason:
She’s [...]
Many couples who enter counseling are concerned about their frequency of arguing in their marriage. And while arguing can obviously be a sign of marital distress that needs professionally addressed, it can also be a way to “clean house” when done properly.
There are no absolutes - just because it feels uncomfortable to argue doesn’t [...]
Many couples are interested in marriage counseling but don’t know the first thing about it. Because of this lack of knowledge, they avoid it, afraid of what might happen. Terms like “head shrinking” don’t help us much either, conjuring up a local witch doctor, shaking rattles around your head (nothing against witch doctors - they [...]
Lyle and Janet had been married 17 years prior to their first couples counseling appointment, though Lyle had wished they had come much earlier, especially due the success and short duration of their time with their therapist.
Lyle had been complaining for many years that Janet had given up the ability to think on her [...]
When Mark and Marcia entered couples counseling, it had been the second time they had seen the same counselor. They had been married for 14 years and were in need of some guidance or a “refresher course” as Mark put it.
Mark and Marcia never had the easiest marriage. They do not have a lot [...]
Sandra saw her husband’s anger problems escalating over the last few years and insisted they seek marital counseling as quickly as possible. Frank is a cop, with over 15 years in the force. His temperament was often sporadic but manageable. Recently Frank received a promotion which entailed longer hours at work. Soon, his anger issues [...]
