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Many people talk about creating a bucket list that includes all the things they want to do before they “kick the bucket.” However, many people set out with individual goals they want to reach. Others resign themselves to the fact that they won’t ever reach the goals and dreams they once had and they consider [...]
Dealing with depression can be difficult for any couple. If your spouse has been diagnosed with depression, it is important to take action to help your marriage. Just like if your spouse were diagnosed with a physical health problem, it is important to educate yourself if your spouse is diagnosed with a mental illness. Learning [...]
It is healthy to have a certain level of autonomy in every relationship. However, sometimes when a marriage is not going well, people decide to increase their independence. At times, this increased independence can be confused with disconnecting from the marriage. Independence in a relationship means you have taken personal responsibility for your own happiness. [...]
It is important to take responsibility for your own feelings and behaviors. It is equally important not to feel responsible for your spouse’s feelings and behaviors. Keeping these rules in perspective will help set healthy boundaries for your marriage. If you have difficulty controlling your anger, it isn’t your spouse’s fault. Even if your partner behaves [...]
It’s important to distinguish the difference between angry behaviors and abusive behaviors. Anger is a natural and normal feeling. However, the behaviors people exhibit when they feel angry may or may not be acceptable. Abuse should not be tolerated. The underlying reasons for angry behaviors and abusive behaviors are different. When people are angry they [...]
Sometimes couples don’t ever really take stock of how much complaining they do to one another. It’s imperative to periodically review your communication style and strengths as well as your weaknesses. If much of your communication includes complaints, it is important to change this. Complaining is necessary sometimes. However, if too much of your communication [...]
Part of being married to someone means that your spouse will get on your nerves sometimes. Some of their habits are likely to annoy you. How you respond when you feel annoyed, makes a big difference in your marriage. Something important to remember when you feel annoyed by your spouse is that you annoy your [...]
Have you ever noticed how marriages can be very different? Some couples treat each other like royalty. Other couples tend to complain about their spouse and act as if their marriage is a nuisance. It can be helpful to take a look around at the marriages around you and learn from them. People who are [...]
Arguments can be productive to a marriage when they are done right. When they aren’t done right, they can damage the marriage. Learning to evaluate your arguments and your role in them can help you establish a plan to make them more productive. During an argument, do either of you end up feeling hurt? If [...]
There are times that it may make sense to give up the fight and not argue. If you’ve brought it up to your partner in the past and nothing changes, can you accept that your partner may not change? Sometimes small disagreements continue over and over again yet nothing changes, and the arguments continue. Denise [...]
Many conflicts arise out of fear. Identifying what these fears are can be helpful in establishing a solution. This can help you determine a course of action to address your fears while also working toward meeting your partner’s needs. When you disagree with your partner, ask yourself, “What am I afraid will happen if I [...]
It can be easy to get stuck in a rut. A couple’s calendar may be filled with the same activities month after month. Maybe each evening looks the same and each weekend looks like the last. Although there is a certain amount of comfort that comes with predictability, it can also become boring. It takes [...]
Have you ever thought about what would be different if your marriage was great? What would you be doing differently? How would you be interacting differently with your spouse? The answers to these questions are very important and can be helpful in determining strategies to improve your marriage. If your marriage was better would you be [...]
Unemployment can be a big stressor for anyone. The stress can create marital problems if it is not handled appropropriately. If you become unemployed, it’s essential that you learn how to manage yourself and your stress so that you don’t create more stress for your partner. When people lose their job, they often become disoriented. [...]
Couples who struggle to resolve problems can benefit greatly from brainstorming. Although brainstorming was first invented for use in the business world, it has been found to be effective with relationships as well. Brainstorming can be used for a variety of issues and can ensure that both people are able to express their ideas. Brainstorming [...]
Are you able to sit with your partner without doing anything at all? Can you shut off the television, computer and phone and just sit and be together? Many couples find it difficult to just be together with each other. Do you and your spouse often invite friends or other family members to join you [...]
Lack of sexual desire can be caused by several different factors. Physical health problems, mental health problems, and substance abuse are some of the most common reasons people lack sexual sexual desire. Lack of sexual desire can be very damaging to a marriage so it is important to explore what the causes may be. Some [...]
When arguments become destructive, they are very dangerous to the relationship. The way people argue tells a lot about their relationship and can predict the outcome of the marriage. Although many people who have heated arguments don’t end up in divorce, a pattern of destructive arguments can lead to irreversible damage. Destructive arguments mean that [...]
Scientists have discovered that there are differences in the male and female brain. There are differences in the way men and women process information and engage in problem solving. It’s helpful for people to recognize these differences as it can help explain some of those reasons for your partner’s behaviors. Men and women process emotional [...]
When people become dissatisfied with the relationship and they don’t address their frustrations, resentment can build. This resentment can quickly turn to anger. When people become angry and resentful, it creates a new set of problems for the marriage. When people feel angry and resentful, the last thing they often want to do is engage [...]
Sometimes people use their anger as a tool to control their partner. Aggressive behaviors may include things such as threats, name calling, and throwing things. Aggression may include other forms of intimidation such as a look that is meant to control the other person. Aggression can become both physically and emotionally abusive. It may be [...]
There are many theories about sleep and dreams but there’s still a lot of mystery around this topic for psychologists. What we do know for sure is that finding time to reconnect at the end of each day is an easy way to stay connected and increase your intimacy. For some couples, the few minutes [...]
Couples who laugh together often report more positive feelings toward their partner. Humor can actually be quite intimate. Sharing a personal joke together can often make two people feel more connected than ever. When was the last time you and your partner shared a good laugh together? Sometimes life gets serious and people stop laughing. [...]
Sometimes people report that their anger goes from zero to ten in an instant. When people say this, it is usually because they do not recognize the warning signs that their anger is on the rise. Learning how to recognize when you are becoming angry can help you to make better decisions about how to [...]
Having a sense of purpose together can be a powerful way to grow your relationship. Working together can provide you with a sense of accomplishment. It can also remind you that the two of you are a team and that when you work together, you can get things done. For many couples, the goal is [...]
Giving compliments to your spouse is an important part of having a healthy relationship. Many couples compliment one another early on. While they are dating, they offer frequent affirmations and compliments galore. But then, after a few years, those can start to dissipate. When was the last time you commented on your spouse’s beauty in [...]
Disagreement in a marriage is inevitable. It’s okay and healthy to disagree on things. If you always agreed on everything, there wouldn’t be much sense in having a mate. Some people fear conflict and avoid arguments at all costs. Accepting that arguments are inevitable can be a healthy part of a marriage. Arguing isn’t a [...]
When an argument becomes heated, do you ever raise your voice? Many people do, but it’s not helpful or healthy. It is important to identify the reason you raise your voice and to learn new techniques that can help you communicate more effectively. Some people raise their voice because they are talking over their partner. [...]
When a marriage ends, it doesn’t come to an abrupt, sudden end. Instead, the relationship tends to slowly erode. At some point, one or both of the people in the relationship recognize that this erosion has occurred and the relationship may come to an end. It is important to prevent this erosion from slowly and subtly [...]
