Les and Sammy knew the had a problem. A big problem. The only problem? They didn’t know what it was! As they sat before the couples counselor for the first time, Sammy had this to say:
He just…it’s hard to explain. But every time I talk, he seems to…well, it’s like he listens. But he’s not. [...]
It’s not always easy to tell if your marriage or relationship is in need of couples counseling. All relationships, including friendships, have their own rhythm, with varying ebbs and flows. This is often difficult to accept, especially for newer relationships. The new couple wants to believe that the “enmeshment” phase will last forever. This is [...]
Most couples don’t enter marital therapy for enrichment, though some do. A small percentage seek counseling pre-crisis. Perhaps they will be married soon or some just feel a certain stillness in their marriage and seek counseling as a way to rejuvenate their connection. But most couples enter therapy because there is an [...]
It took a lot to bring Bill and Beth into the counselor’s office. Both were stubborn types who didn’t see much of a reason for marriage counseling - except for the very real fact that their marriage was rapidly going down hill. Bill felt as if Beth didn’t do much to contribute to [...]
There are many schools of therapy in which counselors are trained. It is important to ascertain whether a particular direction of study suits you and your partners needs. But there are certain elements you can expect in your first few meetings with your couples counselor, overall.
* The [...]
“Fourteen years of being unhappily married…and I don’t think I can take one more day.”
This is what Ralph expressed during his first couples counseling session. His wife nodded in agreement. Both were deeply unhappy. They had gotten married when Ralph was 19 and Teena was 18. She was pregnant. They [...]
Many couples experience a good deal of fear or anxiety before their first couples counseling session. This happens for a number of reasons. Telling a stranger about complex, intimate problems is never easy. You fear the counselor’s reaction - maybe they’ll tell you that your problem is insurmountable! You might think [...]
There is a societal stigma around therapy. Many people suffering in a relationship will refuse therapy just because of this, which is a shame. Some think of it as a failure or feel like they are “airing dirty laundry.” They’d prefer to deal with the persistent problems and suffer in silence than [...]
It’s never easy to discuss the prospect of therapy with a partner. There are many factors to c contend with. Perhaps one partner is very resistant to the idea of therapy for a number of reasons. Some people think of therapy as an admission of failure or shame. Or possibly communication [...]
A common refrain heard from many individuals who would like to enter into couples counseling is, “I’m willing but he’ll never go.” This often halts the progress and healing that therapy offers. Frequently, one member of the duo simply won’t even ask, thinking they know the other partner so well.
Couples counseling is a [...]
No matter what your take is on counseling, one thing can be sure: your life changes after it. Sometimes it stimulates action. This could mean cohesive, focused actions to make your marriage better. It could also indicate the need for a separation, whether temporarily or permanently. Sometimes this is needed [...]
In this day and age, most of us try to integrate some sort of fitness regime into our lives. Some may work out methodically at a local gym while others take on a leisurely stroll after a meal. But the majority recognize the importance of exercise and fitness when it comes to our [...]
Starting the counseling process is never easy. We usually encounter many internal roadblocks. There is often a sense of “I can take care of this myself” pride. Somehow we feel like failures for even thinking we need therapy. Shame can prevail but meanwhile, the problems continue.
One element that most people don’t [...]
Most people equate therapy with work. Problem is, most of equate work with something unpleasant, maybe something grueling.
When couples enter marriage counseling, there’s often a sense of a burden. Not only are they contending with whatever issues they are bringing to the table, but they have a sense of a “long journey [...]
Many marriages can suffer from a sort of apathy. We all get in our well-worn grooves; contenting with the daily grind of work, raising children, tending to our homes, paying bills, etc. It’s easy to think of marriage as something that’s self-sufficient. It’s as if you did the hard work by simply [...]
“If I had only known then what I know now.”
Somehow this phrase is particularly apt when it comes to relationships. Looking back on a history of relationships, some if not all of us wonder “What the heck were we thinking?”
That’s because relationships are a growing, expanding part of our [...]
