Acceptance of Self and Other in Marriage Counseling
When people enter into couples counseling, they often assume it’s a “feel good” process where a couples counselor will slowly but surely unravel their problems in a way that’s both freeing and simple. We’re often used to such quick fixes in our society.
But occasionally marriage counseling can be a difficult process as well – with an ultimately good result as the goal.
Couples counseling deals with human emotion and psychology. Often a problem that a couple is experiencing has “roots” that can extend back to childhood. Talking about painful feelings tends to elicit those painful feelings – and there’s often a backlash. Again, this challenging element to counseling is worth it, but you need to be prepared.
As you unearth some of the deeper feelings, often there is resistance, hurt and anger. But just like a splinter, that pain has been there for quite some time. The job of a trained couples counselor is to extract that splinter, so it can no longer bother you.
You may find yourself leaving couples counseling feeling aggravated, sad or a little heavy at heart. Make room for some of these feelings because they are perfectly normal and part of the therapeutic process. Sit with these uncomfortable feelings. Be courageous enough to be with them in a non-judgmental way.
The eventuality is this: you and your partner will be free of the issues that have caused you chronic pain for year. But sometimes you have to walk through the fire in order to get to that new place, feeling renewed, whole and genuinely connected with your partner again.
Related Posts
- The Process of Transference in Marriage Counseling
- Marriage Counseling Versus Individual Counseling
- Transference and Marriage Counseling
- Regaining Passion in a Marriage through Counseling
- The Importance of Specificity in Marriage Counseling
