The Marriage Counseling Blog

George and Karen had been married one year before they entered into marriage counseling. They never expected to have problems so early on in their relationship. The year leading up to the wedding had been full of bliss…and distractions. They were swept away in arrangements and family members visiting. They didn’t have time to give their relationship a hard look before the proverbial knot was tied.

Shortly after their wedding day, Karen lost her job. Their finances were quickly in a tailspin and put a tremendous stress on the relationship. Karen furiously looked for a new position but was unwilling to take a job that didn’t suit her. George grew to resent Karen’s supposed unwillingness but had trouble expressing it. He grew sullen and withdrawn and barely spoke a word to Karen after 4 months of unemployment.

Once they entered therapy, the first step they needed to take was developing solid communication skills. While they had always “gotten along” in the past, they had never experienced financial duress together and needed to figure out ways to express what they were going through.

Communication skills seem like something we all should know about but many do not. Karen learned to express her feelings to George in a way that was non-confrontational while George learned to speak up and not fear the consequences. He had come from a family where, when he spoke his mind, it was met with anger and disapproval, so this was particularly rough. Karen also learned empathy for George and his history, which helped her want to hear what George had to say.

Couples counseling is built on the foundation of communication. And while we all think we know what that means, we often know it in theory and not in practice. And certainly not when we’re angry at our partner. There are ways to communicate what is going on with you without perpetuating the problem. Couples counseling helps you develop those skills to a far more helpful degree. Consider it a refresher course on something you may already know!