Counseling and Reconditioning
Many of the problems that arise on a daily basis, whether we are married or not, are met in habitual ways. When that woman cuts in front of you illegally on the highway, when that man bumps into you without as much of an “excuse me” in the grocery store - when we deal with any of these daily grievances, we tend to react in a similar manner every time. Once in a while, we’re in an exceptional mood and we react more optimally but for the most part, we are creatures of habits.
That’s why couples counseling is one of the most helpful paths for a couple to take when they are stuck in a habitual rut. When Husband A wants to talk to Wife B about a particular grievance, Wife A reacts in a predictable manner. This cause Husband A to approach the problem differently (maybe!) and when he’s met with “predictable manner” again, he becomes frustrated and the wedge becomes deeper, the resentments build.
It often takes the power of a trained 3rd party to renegotiate these patterns. There is common definition of insanity that goes something like this:
Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
- Albert Einstein
Marriage counselors recognize this and begin to dislodge or derail these old, familiar and ultimately unsuccessful ways. There is a certain intervention that is needed to do this - one that the couple is usually not capable of performing. They are often too entrenched.
Marriage counseling is ultimately about reconditioning; attempting to change the patterns, to reinvent the communications, so it’s genuinely successful…and not an act of futility.
