Couples Counseling is Hard Work
When people enter into couples counseling, they often do so under the assumption that it will be a “warm and fuzzy” experience with a kindly old counselor who, like a relationship magician, will find that simple key to fix all their problems and they will live happily ever after.
It’s not quite like that, though the idea is a nice one.
The truth is that couples counselors can be as fiery and headstrong as the couples they treat. They have to be, because being kind simply to be kind isn’t going to help a stubborn couple break down their marriage to the basics to rebuild it again. Those sessions may be warm and fuzzy, but for many couples they will also be unproductive.
Couples counseling deals with human emotion and psychology. Often, a problem that a couple is experiencing has “roots” that can extend back to childhood and talking about those painful memories and feelings tends to bring those same feelings back. Though a difficult time in counseling, it is an important step that is often necessary for many couples. The job of a couples counselor is to help you deal with that pain and move past it, letting it go, but that process requires you to feel all over again.
Don’t give up just because your couples counselor isn’t doing all the work for you and holding your hand. If you find yourself leaving couples counseling sessions feeling uncomfortable and annoyed, even angry, then embrace those feelings for what they are, steps in the healing process
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