Couples Counseling to Find Your Elusive Issue
Ron and Diane had a big problem in their relationship, however it a problem that was as elusive as it was irritating. While they knew the had a problem, they couldn‘t quite figure out what, exactly, it was, only that it kept them from progressing to the next stage in their relationship. As they sat before their couples counselor , Diane, for the first time, was able to finally put her finger on what it was that was bothering her so much:
When I talk to Ron, it seems like he’s listening, but he really isn’t. He does all the right motions and makes eye contact, but it feels like I’m talking to a wall. When I see that look in his eye, like I’m just blabbing away in another universe, I get so upset, but then he blames me for being overemotional
It is common for couples to experience difficult issues in their relationship without actually being able to define those issues. Couples therapy can help them clearly define exactly what kind of marital problem they are experiencing and give them the right tools to disarm the situation and find the right way to move through it and get past it.
One of the reasons that makes it difficult to define your issues as a couple, before counseling, is that you are seeing the problem in it’s most dynamic and reactive environment, and usually only from perspective.
Couples counseling can help you see the forest for the trees and define your relationship issues more clearly.
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“The Elusive Issue”! Great point in this article. Even when they get tangled in emotional or sexual affairs, most couples don’t understand exactly, the “what” and the “why” behind the dysfunctional choices they make.
It’s amazing to see how deeply couples can re-connect when they start to become more aware of what was driving them up to that point of insight; not to mention learning about the long term negative consequences of previous behaviors.