Couseling Helps When Past is Present
Paul and Rob had been together for 3 years when they decided to formalize their partnership with a marriage ceremony. 10 years into the marriage, Rob found out that Paul had a brief affair leading up to the weeks before their marriage ceremony.
Rob was shocked when he found out, but finding out about it from a mutual friend had only increased the embarrassment and anger involved.
I was devastated. I had always been faithful to Paul, and finding out that he wasn’t faithful to me, even if it was before we were married, it just didn’t matter. It could’ve happened yesterday or the first month we were together, it was still cheating.
When the two entered couples counseling, they were on the brink of separating and any trust in the partnership was gone. Rob had little hope of the relationship surviving and Paul was desperate and defeated.
Couples counseling allowed the two of them to express their deepest pain around this experience in a safe atmosphere. Arguing about the infidelity at home had produced nothing but negative results, with actual communication replaced by name-calling and stonewalling.
Long Term Counseling Needed
The therapist worked with Paul and Rob for many sessions and continue to work with them monthly. Building trust and restructuring the partnership is a long process that can’t be overcome quickly without jeopardizing the long term. Serious healing and a willingness to trust were milestones.
Rebuilding trust is never a simple task, but it is infinitely easier when there is a mediator to guide you throughout the process, which is exactly what a professional Couples Counselor can be for you.
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