Healing Together in Couples Counseling
Jayne was an outgoing and generally cheerful child that had no problems making friends throughout her years at school. This popularity carried over into her college years, which is where she met Scott.
Scott enjoyed the social crowd and was a steady participant; however, he was much more introverted than Jayne. It was easy for him to let her do most of the talking when they were out with friends and, as they grew older, business associates. When it was just the two of them, he was talkative and shared his thoughts and feelings.
Over the years, however, Scott found that he had lost his voice in private, too. He began to express himself less and less, retreating into a quiet solitude that eventually became a way to disassociate himself from everyone around him, even Jayne. The more Jayne made an issue of Scott’s silence and non-communication, the more difficult it became for Scott to open up at all.
Scott and Jayne entered couples counseling when their marriage had become a silent torture for the both of them. Unable to get her husband to communicate, and disliking the person she was becoming in trying to intervene, she had finally convinced him that they needed help together.
It is important to note that Jayne and Scott didn’t come to counseling simply because of Scott’s reluctance to communicate. They came to counseling because they recognized a breakdown in their relationship and the changes that had taken place in both of them, not just in any one person individually.
While it may seem easy to blame the other partner for a breakdown in the marriage, it is much more likely that the relationship can be healed successfully with couples counseling if both partners work together to accept responsibility for what happened, and what can happen.
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