Keeping the Calm in your Marriage
Sometimes removing the threat of an argument between you and your partner requires simple steps. If arguing has become a chronic issue, couples counseling may be required. Until then, remember there are always things within your power to allay an impending tangle. They don’t happen to us. We are co-creators after all.
1. Breathe. The importance of this can’t be stressed enough. Deep, methodical breathing reminds the body on a physiological level to calm down. When your partner sees you are calmer, he/she will tend to react in kind.
Here’s an interesting piece of advice:
2. Speak as if there were a small, sleeping baby in the room next to you. You’ve breathed, you’re (slightly) more relaxed, and you’ve opened your mouthto speak. Now’s the time to really break out that imagination of yours and pretend that there’s a sleeping baby in the room that you really don’t want to wake up. This should keep your voice at a calm, soft range, and, as a bonus, your fighting partner will cool her jets because she won’t feel threatened or challenged!
Those are some creative words of wisdom! How about body language?
3. Try to refrain from the overuse of body language. Physical gestures can appear threatening, even if they aren’t. Be aware of how you are standing, what you are doing with your hands and arms…even your face. Try to relax your shoulder and appear calm, even if you’re not feeling it!
Diffusing an impending argument is never easy. There are some “outside in” approaches that can really help when tempers are beginning to flare!
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- Taking a Time Out to Calm Down During Conflicts
- Self Help – 5 Actions To Calm The Waters
- Keeping Your Marriage Strong in the Face of Unemployment
- Keeping the Conversation Interesting
- Keeping the Friendship Alive
