Making a Lasting Change in Marriage
If you and your partner have entered couples counseling, only to slip into old habits while forgetting the skills and tools that you learned in your counseling sessions, here are some of the ways you can end this cycle of back-treading and start to make lasting changes in your relationship.
Agree to Make A Lasting Change. This means making a concerted effort when you start out the day to practice what you’ve learned in couples counseling. Often we wake in the morning mindlessly, on autopilot, and ready to repeat our daily rituals, both emotional and physical. As part of your new morning ritual, review the changes you want to make in your relationship or marriage and envision the new way you want to feel with your partner. Make your daily habits over again and gear your consciousness toward a new goal that will bring fulfillment to both you and your loved one.
A Trigger doesn’t have to have the same result anymore. When an altercation occurs, the most common trigger for old patterns of arguments, before retaliating or retreating as you have done in the past, take a breath and put your newly learned skills out there. The most difficult time to practice what you’ve learned in couples counseling is during a heated argument. Taking a deep breath and clearing your mind before your next step often is enough to guide you in the right direction.
Couples counseling is a process, not an end result. Remember that certain habits and patterns sometimes took years to produce, and a lifelong change takes place every single day.
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