Traditional Roles Meet Couples Counseling
Abigail and Thomas had been married for just under two years when they sought out a qualified couples counselor to assist them with their relationship. Abigail had recently increased the number of hours spent at work in order to help ease their financial situation. This quickly had a domino effect on the amount of household chores being left to Thomas.
Thomas was adamant Abigail stop working the extra hours, and voicefull in his opinion that her first priority should be taking care of the home, and her husband that.
Abigail was both angry and confused with her husband, as these type of views were not anything that he had expressed before their marriage.
It suddenly seemed like my only value as a person, as a wife and as a woman, was how neat my house was! It felt like I was living in a sitcom based on the 40’s and 50’s. Thomas began treating me like I was his maid. He seemed to have lost all respect for me, and I quickly lost my respect for him. I just couldn’t see myself living for the rest of my life with someone who doesn’t love me or value me for more than that.
With couples counseling, Thomas began exploring his views and opinions about marital roles and gender, including understanding that his childhood home was generally ultra-conservative. Thomas had to work through his opinions of traditional roles and how they could, or could not, fit into the relationship he and Abigail had already built.
Eventually, both Abigail and Thomas began working together on the household, which they both found rewarding. Their financial issues still remain but they talk more openly about their worries.
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