When Should You Seek Marriage Counseling?
If there are no problems in a marriage, there is something seriously wrong. Irrespective of how similar two individuals come out to be, they are going to remain two different individuals. They may have a number of similar interests and thoughts but they are likely to have an equal or higher number of points of difference. When two people come together in marriage it is obvious that sooner or later their differences will show up.
Fights and arguments are not wrong but when they are too many and occur too frequently, the happiness in the relationship fades away. There is not a very clean line that defines when it’s time to seek counseling. I would say that when you think the situation is not in your control and one of you is going into depression because of the state of your relationship, it is time to seek help.
Marital problems do not always arise from differences between the individuals. There are external factors too. They include children from a previous marriage, a dependent parent and the financial health of the family.
Decreased communication, sex, and anxiety are probably the biggest factors affecting marriages. So, if you see signs of trouble, visit a marriage counselor. What do you do if your spouse is not willing to participate? At first, try to convince him/her; the keyword here is ‘convince’, not ‘force’. If the lack of communication has made it difficult for you to make your spouse reason, don’t give up; visit the marriage counselor alone. Your counselor will be able to guide you with ways with which you can start making changes into your marriage on your own. And when you make the effort, your spouse will start complementing you sooner or later.
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If there are no problems in a marriage, someone isn’t speaking up for himself or herself. A marriage without any problems at all signals lack of communication. After 40 years with the same man, I can say this with lots of certainty!
We all can use the wisdom of an expert at times. It’s why we go to an accountant for our tax questions or use a plumber when we get stuck fixing a toilet. Counseling is no different.
reasons why men go to counseling:
#1 Tired of Fighting – When they finally agree to go, it’s most often because they’re at the end of their rope and ready to do anything to get the fighting to stop.
#2 — Can’t Control Anger. Many men have an anger management problem. But it usually takes an incident of extreme rage, such as throwing their son on to the couch or smashing a salt shaker on the kitchen floor in front of the whole family (both real stories), for men to recognize that they’ve got to learn how to control their anger.
#3 — Having an Affair. When men have an affair, or their partner has one, things get really confusing. Some men go to counseling because they want to repair their relationship after the affair, some are still having the affair and are trying to decide which relationship they really want, and some men want help in how to minimize the damage of leaving the first relationship.
#4 — Looking at Porn. The majority of guys look at porn, and almost all do it secretively. Some men come to counseling to learn how to get a handle on a habit that’s gotten out of control, but what drives most men to therapy for pornography is repairing the relationship with their wife after she finds out.
#5 — Feeling Stuck. It’s not unusual for men to feel unhappy with their lives. It can be hard for them to put their finger on what exactly is wrong, but they just don’t feel right. Often they’ll just say they feel “stuck.”
#6 — Abusing Alcohol. Men with an alcohol problem typically come to counseling for another reason — relationship fights, an affair, feeling stuck. They usually don’t see their drinking as a problem, or that they use alcohol to make other problems more tolerable. But abuse of alcohol often comes up in counseling men and can be a factor in what gets guys into therapy.