Why Seek Counseling Before Marriage
If you have seen the perfect partner in your spouse as you entered matrimony, you have not started on the right note. There is no such thing as a perfect partner. Everyone has flaws. At times, expectations are what kill a marriage. Does that mean you should not have any expectation of your spouse? No, it doesn’t mean that. It is recommended you set the expectations right from the very beginning and learn what you can expect of your spouse. Yes, I am pointing towards pre-marital counseling.
Doesn’t counseling mean there should be problems to resolve? Not quite. Counseling helps not only resolve conflicts but also prevent them. The focus of pre-marital counseling is to make you learn about each other more so that you can prevent unnecessary problems in your marriage.
Seeking counseling before marriage is a smart thing to do. If you are spending weeks planning your wedding, spend a few hours looking at your marriage. But I know him/her very well. Of course, you do. But can’t you spend a few hours more to know what his/her goals are in terms of family? Do you have the same goals in your marriage? Do you know if you have similar dreams and ambitions in life?
Pre-marital counseling will help you discuss areas you wouldn’t normally do. Upbringing, career, family, domestic responsibilities, daily chores, working hours – there are a number of not-so-romantic things that you need to figure out before the first day of marriage. Pre-marital counseling only ensures you have a happier married life.
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Excellent write up. Very useful info.
I used to tell my clients that marriage is a unity in diversity… needs lot of adjustments, compromises, coping skills, support, etc. Problems in a marital life is not rare, but not beyond solutions. Very often people get separated and at a later stage feel very sorry that they didn’t consider the idea of counseling!
It is worth remembering, before entering into a marriage, that there would be issues down the road, along with all colors and fragrance of a marital life… But every issues comes with potential solutions as well. So, be confident that you will be able to find that answer when you need them. Else, there is professional support available in the form of marriage counseling.