Your First Counseling Session – What to Expect
Many couples experience a good deal of fear or anxiety before their first couples counseling session. This happens for a number of reasons. Telling a stranger about complex, intimate problems is never easy. You fear the counselor’s reaction – maybe they’ll tell you that your problem is insurmountable! You might think that a long, arduous road lie before you and you simply feel overwhelmed before your couples counseling has even started. Maybe the counselor will side with your spouse or significant other, deepening the divide.
These are all normal concerns that most couples go through before beginning and like most fears in life, don’t hold as much water as you believe. A well-trained counselor, for instance, is trained not to “take sides”. They serve as a mediator and a sounding board. And most problems (though not all) are manageable and not insurmountable, though certainly some may take more time and work than others.
The first session is usually a time for the counselor to become familiarized with the the two of you as individuals and as a pair. The therapist is attempting to obtain an overall impression of the problems and issues the two of you are encountering. The counselor will ask many questions, most likely. He or she needs to get as accurate of a picture of the issues at hand before the actual therapeutic work begins.
Surprisingly, couples may often experience a sense of relief, even after the first session. There’s something calming about the knowledge that your problems are already beginning to be addressed – that help is on the way. And there’s relief in knowing that therapy is not akin to root canal!
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What if you feel like your therapist asked close to none or very few questions? Should you feel like its a scam or should u still feel some sense of relief as mentioned above? Give it a second chance? Look for a new therapist? We went to our first session and she asked very few questions and did not really tell us what to expect from our sessions…. She just listened mostly the whole time. I guess I kind of expected her to give more suggestions as far as some excersises maybe that we could do or just something more… Please shed some light on our doubts….
Jessica, the best thing to do is to be direct with the therapist about your concerns. Tell her that you expected more suggestions, and explain what your expectations of therapy are. That will give her an opportunity to explain her style and what you should expect from therapy with her.
Then you should have an opportunity to better decide if she is a good match for your needs. Don’t worry about coming across as critical of her style. If she is a licensed professional, she should be able to handle your feedback. Communicating your feelings that well from the start should be a good way to begin therapy.