Family Counseling and The Art of Negotiations
When Sid and Sylvia decided to pursue a legal separation, their first concern was their children - 10 and 6. They decided to see a family counselor in order to make the transition as smooth as possible. It wasn’t easy. The oldest son was acting out at school lately, getting in fights and cheating on tests. The youngest child seemed more distant than usual.
When Sammy, 10, had the chance to speak, he had this to say:
I want them to stay together. But I don’t want them fighting anymore. I’m really, really tired of hearing them fight. They fight when I do my homework, they fight when my friends are over. They always fight. I don’t think I’m going to get what I want but at least I want that to stop. It’s going to be weird and I’m sad but maybe, when the fighting stops, it will be more fun again. I don’t know.
Divorce and separation are never easy on a child. Many children idealize their parent’s marriage. It’s sacrosanct and should stay in place no matter what. It is supposed to be a constant in their life. When that ideal falls apart, many fears arise in its place. If they stopped loving one another, when will they stop loving me? Who will leave next? Why can’t it be the way it used to be?
Family counseling allows the children and parents to look at the separation objectively - to see that the separation isn’t the children’s responsibility and that a normal, happy life can still occur afterwards. Children often feel relieved to hear affirmations and know that someone, namely the counselor, is looking out for their family and guiding it toward a healthier, happier place.
Family Counseling and The Art of Negotiations…
When Sid and Sylvia decided to pursue a legal separation, their first concern was their children - 10 and 6. They decided to see a family counselor in order to make the transition as smooth as possible. It wasn’t easy….