The Marriage Counseling Blog

When Mary and Ted entered marriage counseling, they weren’t sure what to expect but knew they needed help. Mary had taken a position in the film industry that required she be away from home for several months throughout the year. As her duties increased, so did her time away. The couple began to feel disconnected from one another, or as Ted put it “I don’t even recognize her face sometimes.”

Ted wasn’t sure that counseling was the answer but he knew that their marriage was on the rocks and something needed to be done:

Well, I’ve been thinking…I’ve been thinking of other women these last few months. At first, I felt so guilty, I couldn’t say a thing to Mary…and then I realized that well, why wouldn’t I be thinking of other women? My wife is never home. We don’t talk on the phone as much as I’d like. Her time away is affecting our marriage. It has been for some time. And I’m not sure how much more I can take. Something has to give.

Mary wasn’t prepared to adjust her work schedule for the sake of her marriage. She made that clear during her first session. She did say she’d make a more concerted effort to call more frequent. The counselor suggested “phone dates” where they could comfortably talk at length.

They also continued couples counseling, to talk about their changing relationship. The first year, they only visited their counselor once a month. Then it began to increase, as Mary’s schedule changed.

As Mary put it:

I had to work hard for a while. It was important to my career and I never put myself and my work first. But counseling was the glue that kept us together. It kept us forward-focused. And I genuinely looked forward to it because I knew it would help me connect with Ted more.

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