The Marriage Counseling Blog

Kelly and Ian started a relationship during an awkward time. Kelly had recently divorced and had a 1-year-old baby girl. When Ian and Kelly became involved, Ian was insistent on creating a family. But neither were as prepared as they thought. They entered into marriage counseling, feeling defeated and overwhelmed.

Ian had this to say:

I wanted this to be perfect. Too perfect, I suppose. I didn’t see any of the pitfalls. I had no clue how difficult it is to raise a child. I did do my research. I read countless books. But this baby…she’s difficult. She doesn’t seem to quit crying. And Kelly thinks we should let her and I think we should pick her up. So everytime the baby is crying – which is a lot – an argument on parenting helps.

It’s not about Kelly or the baby. I love them both. Its about our parenting. Our different views on parenting. And I guess on adjusting. I haven’t had a good night’s sleep in months and that’s making matters worse. I’m irritable all the time.

The couples counselor first worked on communication skills between the two. Both were in a near constant argumentative mode. On the first day, they even entered the counselor’s office arguing.

Once the couple began to communicate more clearly, they talked openly about their very different views on raising children. Both were disappointed in themselves that they hadn’t discussed these very important issues beforehand but after several months in marriage counseling, they began to reach compromises.

Child rearing can pose serious issues to a young couple thrust into a situation. But once they “step away from the table” and begin to talk in a reasonable manner, they begin to find a common ground, suited to both…at least on some levels. And sometimes, “some levels” can be enough to move forward.

Related Posts

• Making Room for Couples Counseling at Home
• Life After Baby-When Two Becomes Three
• Staying Connected After the Birth of a Baby
• Adjusting to the New Baby
• The Art of Making Time for Counseling