Practicing Self-Love in Marriage Counseling
Nothing can more allusive to some than the idea of self-love. What is it? Do I wake up and hug myself? Stare into a mirror and repeatedly say, “I love you, I love you”? These actions can ring false yet it still doesn’t negate the importance to learning to love yourself. Its one of the most fundamental aspects of marriage counseling. Without it, you can interact and work with your partner all you want – ultimately, it won’t succeed.
Self-love begets love of other. It’s that simple. You can’t have one without the other. A lack of self-love tends to create enmeshments and codependency, not mature love.
So if self-love seems to be lacking in your life, what can you do that doesn’t require mirrors and meaningless mantras?
The first step is recognizing that you may be missing it in the first place. How do you know? You know if the self-talk that goes on your head tends to always be negative! You may not always be saying, “I’m an idiot. I hate myself.” But you may be critiquing yourself constantly, saying, “Damn, I messed that up.” “Why do I always do that?” “I shouldn’t have said that to him. Now I’ve offended him.” This banter is near constant, playing inside your head like a bad broken record.
Allowance is the key to self-love. Its giving yourself permission to make mistakes, to be confused, to feel hurt, to be HUMAN. A basic rule of thumb to remember when it comes to self-love? Treat yourself the same way you’d treat a small child. Would you constantly critique a child? No. You’d realize their innocence and fragility and make room for understanding, nurturing and kindness. That is the initial first step.
Related Posts
- You Don’t Need To Be In Love To Have A Successful Marriage
- Counseling, When Love Isn’t Enough
- Bring Back Love in Your Marriage
- Counseling Helps You Re Learn to Love Your Partner
- Love (and Counseling) the Second Time Around
