The Marriage Counseling Blog

You and your partner have decided to split.  You have kids at home.  What should you be thinking about in terms of their short run, medium run, and long-term needs?  I raise this long question because I hear all sorts of stories as I counsel couples.  I also see children, both kids and adults, who [...]

Finding a marriage counselor can be tricky if you don’t know what you’re looking for. There’s lots of different types of counselors and all the initials after people’s names can be confusing. Some people avoid entering into counseling because they don’t know where to start. Counselor credentials include titles such as LCSW (licensed clinical social [...]

Parents, do you know what age appropriate behavior is?  Do you know how to help your teen behave appropriately?  Do you know what kind of activities s/he should be doing?  Do you know how to be effective in enforcing rules?  Here are some suggestions. First, remember you were once a teenager.  Try to remember what [...]

Making a decision to start marriage counseling can be a difficult decision for many couples.  Couples can benefit from marriage therapy for a variety of reasons.  Many people wonder if couples counseling is right for them and their situation. Couples Counseling can help couples improve their communication.  Each person can learn skills to increase direct [...]

Modern society enjoys freedoms that our forefathers would not only frown upon, most likely condemn. Living together ‘out of holy wedlock’ is certainly one of those freedoms. It has come at a price, however, as couples who live together without the legal ties of marriage find it much easier to move on if the relationship [...]

What is the big “D” ultimatum? DIVORCE! Should you use the threat of divorce to force change in your partner? Should you use any form of ultimatum when your marriage is heading downhill? The problem with using any form of ultimatum is twofold – the first, it often gets used too often with no follow [...]

I’ll be blunt. If you have to ask that question, then in nine out ten situations the answer is yes. If you are having any doubts at all about your marriage, then you really should be talking to someone about those doubts. Ideally, you should be talking to your partner – if you can’t, then [...]

Despite popular opinion to the contrary, marriage counseling is not that expensive. Sure, you could travel to places like New York and spend thousands on a high profile therapist, but they are the exception, not the norm. There are couples who still struggle to find the money to pay for marriage counseling. That doesn’t mean [...]

Marriage counseling can be a deeply personal experience for some people so placing trust in a marriage counselor can be difficult. Marriage counselors that are based around a religious community – for example, Christian Marriage Counseling – are often able to overcome that barrier. For these individuals, nothing is as deeply personal as their religion, [...]

Research shows that the probability of someone having an affair in a relationship is very high (between 40 and 76 percent in one study). With almost half of all relationships involving infidelity, you may be wondering what  to do after such an incidence occurs. First, you have to decide if you are going to tell [...]

You may wonder how pre-marriage counseling can save a marriage if the couple are not yet married – but it does. Statistics show that where couples have engaged in pre-marriage counseling, their failure rates are almost half the national average. That’s a huge drop in failure rates, but then, if you consider some of the [...]

Humans have to be one of the strangest creatures on earth. We never value what we have and often taking most things in life for granted. This is especially true when it comes to relationships and marriages. The number of couples that front a counselor after separating is quite high. What is amazing is that [...]

One of the questions many couples ask, or at least one half of a couple ask, is whether or not their marriage is worth saving. There is a relatively easy answer to that question. Imagine how your relationship was to begin with – do you want that back? If the answer is yes then in [...]

The number one question asked of counselors – where has my marriage gone wrong? We wish the answer was as simple as the question. Marriages can go wrong for a lot of reasons. One reason that is hard to fathom is the cop out answer – “we weren’t right for each other”. I call that [...]

We live in a world where families can be split by wide distances. Mom may be at home with a couple of school age children. The eldest child may be away at college, and dad may be off working in some remote corner of the world. Long distance families are difficult to maintain although they [...]

One of the most common complaints that marriage counselors hear is that a partner spends more time at work than they do in the home. While most people do spend more time at work than with their families, there is a difference between ‘normal’ working hours, and extended working hours. If you sleep for the [...]

I’ll probably prick a few egos here, but, despite popular belief, marriage counselors do not repair marriages. They don’t have any special magic and they can’t wave a wand and say your marriage is fixed. In fact, if both partners are not committed to saving the marriage, then a marriage counselor may not be effective [...]

We have all most likely come across couples that are going through a ‘trial separation’. Are they an effective way to deal with a marriage that is going through a rough patch? Generally speaking, no. In most cases, a trial separation becomes a permanent separation, and when it doesn’t the relationship is generally no better [...]

What is worse than infidelity in a marriage? To many people, it is the constant false accusations of infidelity. Yet, those false accusations are themselves an indication of a much bigger problem – insecurity. When someone doesn’t feel secure in a relationship, they see everything as a threat no matter how harmless they are, and [...]

You will be surprised at how many marriages come under real stress on Christmas Day. Relatives are one cause, particularly grandparents, especially if they either purchase inappropriate gift (or at least gifts that one parent considers inappropriate), or when they tend to favor one child over another. These issues can often be worked through given [...]

For many marriages, trouble is on the horizon and both partners can see it coming. There is tension in the air, communication channels are shutting down, and intimacy almost non-existent. Yet they continue on, often in the forlorn hope that matters will right themselves. Sometimes they do – most of the time they don’t. Yet, [...]

As we go through life we go through periods where we suffer more stress than what could be considered the norm. For example, did you know that one of the most stressful events in your life is moving house. Other typical stressors include the death of a near relative and losing a job. Marriages also [...]

If you listen to some people, you would think that every relationship was based on sex first, and friendship and compatibility second. Too many marriages concentrate on this issue, always to the detriment of the marriage. Do you or your spouse place too much emphasis on sex in your marriage? If your answer is yes, [...]

Marriage hit the wall? Unsure what to do next? Are you both committed to getting your marriage back on track? If you answer “yes” to those questions, particularly the last, then you can be well on the road to a happy marriage in as little as one day. Commitment is the key, along with a [...]

Selecting a marriage counselor can be a difficult step for many couples. Do you ask friends or relatives, check a locality guide, or just call the first one in the phone book? You do need to be selective when it comes to seeing a counselor; they are not all the same and those differences can [...]

The role of a marriage counselor has long been one that was looked down upon. Going to see a ‘therapist’ was fine when it came to working out your own issues, but seeing a marriage counselor was a no-no. This is changing and changing rapidly for the better, and US News now rates the role [...]

There are many individuals who lead their lives at a million miles an hour. They have little time to look after their own health, let alone something as trivial as a marriage. But when that marriage comes to an end, they are full of recrimination on themselves, often asking ‘why didn’t I see that coming’. [...]

There are more marriage bust-ups during the Christmas period than at any other time of year. Do you know why? There are multiple factors at play, and many involve extended family. However, Christmas time is also a time when a lot of decisions are made, often with little notice. For marriages that are already unstable, [...]

There has long been talk about making premarital counseling a pre-requisite to gaining a marriage license. In Florida, successfully completing counseling entitles the couple to a discount on their marriage license fee.  However, should it be encouraged, or should it be made compulsory? It’s often a difficult area to address. Compulsory counseling, such as those [...]

So, you are having problems with your marriage? That’s easy, go and see a marriage counselor and all will be saved! I wish it was that easy. Often, it can be fairly easy. In fact, there are times when one session marriage counseling is very effective. However, humans are complex creatures and sometimes the issues [...]