Counselors come in all different sizes, shapes and colors. Some have very specific studies and adhere to them strictly. Some have varied techniques to draw from and bring them into the counseling arena as they see fit. When you choose a counselor, its important to ask about their background and the direction of their studies to see if it will suit you and your partner or your marriage as a whole.
When Pam and John entered therapy several years ago, they didn’t feel well-versed enough in the varied psychological studies to be discerning. The counselor did explain to them his therapeutic take but the couple didn’t really take the time to process or understand it. The counselor had a very definite spiritual side to his work and is considered somewhat of a New Age guru.
Considering this couple was a highly pragmatic couple (one was an accountant, the other a corporate event manager), this fit wasn’t exactly right. The counselor’s advice felt too esoteric or “fluffy” (as Pam called it) to really aid this couple. The counselor was wise enough to see this early on and re-address it. He re-explained his therapeutic direction to the couple in great detail and proposed that this might not be the best fit.
They agreed and found a couples counselor more suited to their personality types. They also took the time at the beginning of their first session to ask the counselor about her studies and her direction in therapy. This set the process up correctly from the word “go” and got everyone on the right path immediately. Since counseling costs money, it’s important to be ready to go!
