Cleaning up your Act with Couples Counseling
Fran and Sarah entered couples counseling together, at their wit’s end. At first, everyone considered them the stereotypical “odd couple.” Fran was messy, creative and carefree. Sarah was restrained, extremely neat and a corporate lawyer. They had met on a camping trip 7 years ago and moved in with one another 2 years earlier. At first, they found the others “different” ways cute and endearing. Fran would giggle when she’d look in the silverware drawer and see the spoons “spooning” each other in one direction. And Sarah would sigh, just a little exasperated, when she’d see Fran’s paintbrushes in the bathroom sink.
But after a few years, those accepting moments made way for huge battles. Fran thought Sarah was “uptight and annoying. It’s like living with my mother!” and Sarah thought Fran “outta grow up some. She’s not in college anymore.” These arguments were leading them both down a path of eventual break-up, which neither wanted.
The counselor explored Fran and Sarah’s upbringing. Both parties listened intently while the other expressed the problems they had growing up. For Fran, her mother was enormously controlling. For Sarah, her mother was virtually non-existent, leaving Sarah alone to do most of the housework.
Both felt compassion for the other’s early environment, which helped pave the way for some practical steps, that could help them in the here and now. These steps included some small adaptations on each party’s part - Fran doing a little more, Sarah doing a little less, overall. After only 3 months of therapy, the couple felt renewed and ready to “clean up” their act.
