The Marriage Counseling Blog

Most of us can make some educated guesses when it comes to the topics most couples are most likely to argue about and what will bring them in front of a couples counselor. We can simply look back at our own history or use common sense. According to relationship psychotherapist Paula Hall, the top five things that couples argue about are (and roughly in this order):

* Money
* Sex
* Work
* Children
* Housework

Let’s spend some time with the top “offender”, especially due to the trying economic times we find ourselves in. As peoples savings plummet or mortgages foreclose or homes don’t sell, couples are increasingly feeling new pressures that often erupt into heated arguments.

When it comes to money, we’re talking about survival on some levels, especially when there’s a financial crisis. But specifically, what are couples arguing about when it comes to money?

A study commissioned by Smart Money magazine and Redbook found that more than 70 percent of couples talked to their partner about money at least once a week.

The respondents in the study said they fought most often about debt, spousal spending and then their own purchases. They worried about saving for retirement, taking risks with investments and loaning money to the kids. It’s common in many relationships for one partner to be a “spender” while the other is a “saver,” which is where much of the conflict arises.

One suggestion is that couples operate separate as well as joint bank accounts. They can continue to negotiate money spent as a family, while feeling the safety and autonomy of having their own savings to manage.

Related Posts

• How to Diffuse an Argument through Couples Counseling
• Relationships and Money
• Sex And Money: Marriage’s Biggest Issues
• Relationship Counseling and the Meaning of Money
• Breaking the Addictive Argument Cycle