Are You Standing in the Way of Therapy?
Many people have many different reasons for not attending couples counseling. It ranges from the practical to the moral. Either “I don’t have time or money for it” or “I don’t like airing our dirty laundry. Our problems are our business.” Whatever the reasons, the problems remain the same, unchanged and stagnating. Problems don’t tend to magically go away on their own, though we often secretly hope that to be true. In fact, they tend to compound and enlarge when not addressed.
Often people are concerned about what will be uncovered in therapy. Many modalities of therapy approach your past in one form or the other. The belief is that it is in the past that the original pain occurred and grew as the years passed. Because a relationship with a significant other is so reminiscent to some of our most formative relationships, a counselor often feels the need to address your personal history. Either party can be concerned about this. It’s a frightening prospect for some, reliving or examining old pain.
It’s often a relief to know that these examinations into your past are done in a safe environment by a professional trained in these areas. It’s an additional relief to know that while you’d like to avoid these “old hurts”, they are affecting your life now anyway, regardless of your conscious effort to dismiss them. In other words, in therapy, you stand a chance to finally be truly free of these old wounds.
Not all therapies need to delve into your past and if that’s truly something you’re not interested in, you have many options. The point being: when it comes to looking at your past, the truth can quite literally set you free.
