Building Trust Through Couples Counseling
When there is a breech of trust in a relationship or marriage, couples counseling is often sought out as a way to rectify it. It’s not an easy path - it can often be a long journey that takes times - but its possible when certain guidelines are followed.
A lack of trust can be caused by many issues, ranging from infidelity to addiction to small “white” lies that have been told consistently enough to set up a pattern of unease between the two partners. So what can a couple do to develop trust in the first place or rebuild trust when its been broken? Here are some general principles to review:
Have a “trust talk.” What are the behaviors that are causing you to lose trust in your partner or to doubt his or her commitment? You need to think about this carefully — do you have unresolved issues of your own that hinder your ability to trust others? You have to have a trustworthy partner but you also have to have the ability to trust.
Other tips to develop trust?
* Be consistent.
* Be on time. When you have to be late, call and say you’ll be late.
* Do what you say you will do, and call when you say you will call.
* Don’t lie - not even little white lies - to your partner or to others.
* Be fair, even in an argument.
* Be sensitive to the other’s feelings. You can still disagree, but don’t discount how your
partner feels.
* Carry your fair share of chores.
* Respect your partner’s boundaries.
* Be a good listener.
* Try not to overreact when things go wrong.
* Don’t dig up old wounds. Remember that once you say things, you can’t take them back.
* Be aware of your own propensity toward jealousy and seek some therapy of your own, if its too
problematic.
