Conflict Resolution, Quick and Easy
Nobody likes conflict. Well, sometimes it seems like some people do. Maybe your partner seems like she loves picking fights with you. Or perhaps your boss seems like he patiently waits for for you to do something wrong.
When you enter marriage counseling, it’s usually based on conflict of some kind. To be more specific, a more important issue is often not the conflict itself but how to resolve it smoothly.
Don Miguel Ruiz, author of The Four Agreements has some general pointers for conflict that can be applied to a myriad of situations, whether its work-related or a relationship with a loved one or friend…or even the man honking his horn behind you!
1. Be impeccable with your word.
Words have immeasurable power, so use them with care. Say only what you mean, and remember your opinion isn’t fact. Silence is better than saying something you’ll regret.
2. Don’t take anything personally.
Here I’ll quote the book, “Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves.” That guy honking at you just spilled scalding coffee all over his lap, the boss screaming at you is going through a divorce. Their stuff has nothing to do with your stuff, and assuming you’re the root cause of someone’s behavior is not only self-centered, it’s also a big waste of energy.
3. Don’t make assumptions.
You can spend hours generating theories about why someone did something, or you can just ask. When someone lashes or does something unexpected, save time by seeking clarification.
4. Do your best.
Do the best you can with the conflict in front of you, and you won’t need to waste brain power on self-judgements or regrets.
These are some simple guidelines to remember the next time you see a conflict approaching. The more you can practice them, the smoother life – and your relationships – tend to run.
Related Posts
- Counseling for Conflict Resolution
- Quick Ways to Resolve Conflict
- Free Marriage Advice Isn’t Easy
- Stopping Conflict with Couples Counseling
- Avoiding Conflict Will Make Your Relationship Worse
