Counseling and Overcoming The Resistance
Bart was a self-proclaimed “good old boy” and the last type you’d expect to see in a marriage counselor’s office. He was raised on a dairy farm in Texas and rode his first tractor trailer at 8 years old. When he met Eugenia at 15, they knew after high school they would marry and raise a family. No questions were asked. This was the way things were done and they both knew their path early in life.
Unfortunately, Eugenia couldn’t conceive. They went to every doctor in their county and ventured to a specialist in Florida. When they found out that Eugenia would never be capable of bearing children, the couple was devastated. Eugenia quit her job, stayed at home and began overeating.
Now, both in their late 40’s, they sat with a couple’s therapist, hoping to find the happiness that eluded them for the last several decades. Surprisingly, it was Bart who suggested it (he saw it in a movie a few years back). It was Eugenia who resisted. And resisted. Several years passed before she finally gave in and entered into marriage counseling.
It took some time, but the couple began to explore the pain of not being able to reproduce. Eugenia had longstanding grief that she “put in a little box” and dared not look at. Finally, in the safety of counseling, she was able to dislodge and explore this old pain that had held her back for so long. Both came to a different place of understanding - recognizing that while not having children was certainly painful for them, they had a lot to be grateful for, namely one another.
