The Marriage Counseling Blog

Brian’s chronic illness brought he and his wife into couple’s counseling. He had developed progressive multiple sclerosis, an autoimmune disorder that attacks the central nervous system. He and his wife were both under an enormous amount of stress; newly married and now contending with medical expenses, physical limitations and underemployment.

Illness can be a particular strain on a couple. It is often unexpected – not factored into the “big plan” of marrying, settling down and having children. Suddenly their dream vision was compromised and seriously altered. Barb, who expressed wanting children for years, confided that she wasn’t sure if she could take the additional stress. She was already working full-time in addition to helping Brian with his medical issues.

The counselor focused primarily on controlling stress, which was obviously having a very serious effect on the couple. For several sessions, both were expressive emotionally and used counseling as an outlet for pent-up frustration and grief. The couple and counselor then focused on an immediate “game plan” so the future wasn’t so intimidating. They coordinated the next year, looking at the immediate picture, not the big picture. This included employment, finances, down time for the couple, medical visits and stress management.

Counseling can help out immediately when needed. It can have very practical consequences when problems such as Barb and Brian’s arise. The couple needed very real and accessible advice to handle an unexpected crisis. Stress management alone helped the couple re-connect with one another during a trying time.

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