Counseling in the Computer Age
Fran entered individual therapy because she was having relationship problems…with someone she never met. Fran had met Andrew online last year. They are both musicians and began chatting in a chat room specifically to those in the music industry. They hit it off wonderfully. Fran had never felt so compatible with anyone, she proclaimed. Very slowly, they went from instant messaging to speaking on the phone.
Fran found out that Andrew was at the end of marriage himself, with 3 children. He and his wife had moved into separate homes but were still technically married. In fact, the two had entered family counseling to make the inevitable divorce easier on their children.
This situation was very triggering for Fran, who swore off any married men after a history of dating several (who never left their wives.) Besides the two of these people hadn’t even met! She wasn’t even sure if they’d have the chemistry needed to pursue a relationship!
Fran entered counseling because she wasn’t quite sure how to handle this situation. Never before had she grown to someone that she hadn’t met and she wasn’t sure how she was projecting on to this man or how much was genuinely real.
After a few months of individual counseling, Fran decided to take a break from Andrew, until his situation was considerably more sorted out. She felt a loss like any other, even worse, she claimed, because she had become so close to this person and they were so compatible.
Our computer age can often make strange (and interesting) bedfellows. Some may doubt the authenticity. Some may claim it’s quite authentic, almost a more pure way to meet someone, on a mental playing field first. Whatever you may think, Fran had very real feelings about her online relationship. And so did Andrew. They also both had very real problems to overcome in order to get to one another.
