Counseling in the Later Years
When Marge and Lee entered marriage counseling, both were several years into retirement. They had over 25 years of marriage under their belt. Both had stated openly that they had rarely if ever fought a day in their marriage. They reflected on their pre-retirement years with fondness - the kids growing up, summer vacations in Virginia, family reunions that lasted for weeks, held at their farmhouse. So what brought them into counseling? Lee speaks:
Once we hit retirement, it was like we became two different people. We were always so busy before, so much on our minds, so much to do. Suddenly it was like the rug was pulled out from underneath of us. We started fighting every day, over the stupidest things: taking out the garbage, the way the dishes were stacked. These were supposed to be our happiest years and we worked hard for them. It shouldn’t be filled with fighting all the time. Both of us wanted something else.
The counselor quickly got to work on Marge and Lee, encouraging outside activities as Step 1. Lee started assistant coaching for a girl’s softball team and Marge began her own book club at the local library. The marriage counselor also “re-introduced” Marge and Lee. While they lived together for many, many years, it seemed that the two had lost touch with one another; each partner’s hopes, dreams, desires, likes, dislikes. Romance was brought back into their lives via planned dates once or twice a week, both of which Marge and Lee thoroughly enjoyed.
Couples of all ages can experience difficulties. And couples with many happy years behind them can experience marital discord. Counseling can help at all stages of marriage.
I have always wondered how couples can be “re-introduced” to each other. People never stop growing and changing, and if a couple makes it through raising kids, they have twenty or more years of change that they may never have had time to adjust to. Add retirement and an empty nest to that, and I imagine many mature couples could use some counseling to aid in the large transitions in both their lives.
Enjoying your blog immensely.