Couples Coming to Terms with the Need for Counseling
We live during a time where appearances are everything – literally and metaphorically. Many of us long to have the perfect relationship, not only for ourselves but on some levels, to show the world we are lovable, acceptable – that we fit in. Once we find a partner, it becomes important to appear to others as a happy couple. Many people may deny this but we’re not ego-proof!
When a couple enters marriage counseling, there is often a sense of shame or embarrassment; as if they made a social mistake by having marriage difficulties. This sense of shame can prevent many couples from seeking couples counseling in the first place, denying themselves of much needed help.
What couples learn in couples counseling is that it’s alright to have problems. Relationships are not easy. As a matter of fact, some may postulate that relationships are one of the biggest challenges we face. Why? Because relationships are inherently triggering. There is a call, a need, for vulnerability. Vulnerability can be frightening because there is a chance to be wounded, or rewounded, if some of the problems remind us of childhood issues (which undoubtedly, they do!)
When thinking about counseling, try to put the shame factor aside for a moment. Recognize that seeking help is a sign of strength not weakness. And remember, the images that we constantly are surrounded by, those images of constant marital bliss, are just that – images. We all have our crosses to bear when it comes to relationships and they are rarely a constant walk in the park. Opening up to help is part of a process that eventually opens you up to more love. Vulnerability can be our greatest strength.
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