Couples Counseling and Opening Up to Exercises
One hurdle many couples need to get over during their couples counseling is a sense of awkwardness, especially when it comes to learning and practicing exercising. Many counselors will make use of exercises as tool to teach the couple communication skills. Some may feel the exercises are childlike or rudimentary…or just plain corny!
But when the couples begin to move past the awkwardness and genuinely participate, they too can learn. It’s important that a couple remain open to exercises. It shows a certain flexibility and fluidity between the couple that’s often helpful in resolving difficulties. In a sense, exercises are often a form of “play”, which has its therapeutic place in counseling.
So what type of exercises might you learn during your time in marriage counseling? Well, there’s a range of them but here’s an example of an exercise that teaches a couple how to communicate in a healthy and concise manner:
The issue between us is…
(Write down the issue)
Partner one:
It is bothering me because…
I’m partly responsible because I…
To resolve this we could… (list as many options as you can think of)
Partner two:
It is bothering me because…
I’m partly responsible because I…
To resolve this we could… (again, list as many options as you can think of)
Both of you:
We have agreed to:
The change(s) I am going to make are…
The change(s) my partner is going to make are…
We will sit down and talk about how the changes are going on… (set a date)
Top tip:
Don’t try this exercise when either of you is feeling angry or hurt with the other. Try to take a step back from the emotions of the issue and focus on finding positive, practical solutions.
Now take some time to discuss and consider the options available. Make sure the solutions are practical and positive.
