Couples Counseling and Techniques to Diffuse Arguments
Most of us can sense an argument a mile away. You walk into your home after a long day and there’s this icy feeling in the air. You check the temperature but it’s just fine. Then you walk into the kitchen and your spouse or partner has his/her back toward you. Silence. You know something is up. In couples counseling, you learn techniques to be less reactive and to genuinely listen to your partner, before things start that downward spiral!
One expert has this to say:
First, listen to what your partner is not saying. It may sound odd, but listen for the “I don’t feel well today,” or the “We lost a really big contract at work, and I’m a little anxious about the status of my job right now.” If you can look past the “You do everything wrong,” statements for your partner’s underlying feelings, you’ll not only be able to diffuse the situation, you’ll also help your partner to get past the anger front.
This is very important and takes a little honing of your intuitive skills. Instead of being reactive, take a look at your partner’s state of mind and feelings. What are they really going through? Can you address that instead?
Now the hard part: once you realize that there may be a deeper, underlying issue at hand, how can you address that? Is there a way to gently ask how his or her day went? Can you look past an emotionally fused rant to see the hurt feelings underneath and have compassion for your loved one?
None of this is easy. As a matter of fact, it takes hard work and patience. But the payoff is often worth it and a full-blown argument has been artfully avoided.
Related Posts
- How to Diffuse an Argument through Couples Counseling
- Techniques In Marriage Counseling
- Techniques to “Open Up” to your Partner
- Accept That Arguments Will Happen
- Making Arguments Productive
[...] Couples Counseling and Techniques to Diffuse Arguments | The … [...]
Sometimes I also feel that “icy feeling in the air”.. means that there’s something you can expect.. which unfortunately, is not good. Listening to what your partner is saying, is I guess more applicable to men, because it’s women who mostly have hard time to express what she really feels.. something that men should find out.
It’s really hard to understand, but that’s women.. that’s us.
yes, my oppinion is that just dont shower your loved one with questions and listen. my ex-girlfriend would ask so many question stresssing me out, thats why shes my ex now