The Marriage Counseling Blog

Brian and Beth’s marriage began to unravel during a particularly stressful time in their lives, and they entered couples counseling to help them salvage their marriage. They had experienced a devastating financial loss that cost them a majority of their savings and retirement funds. Blame, guilt and resentment followed the financial loss and they began couples counseling still reeling.

Both Brian and Beth had high-paying jobs and few financial worries for much of their marriage, and were now faced with a financial situation that was beyond what either of them had ever coped with before. They knew it would take years to recoup their losses, but knowing the financial facts did not stop the cycle of blame and resentment that went with it.

In couples counseling, Brian had this to say

She never complained when I was making tons of money in the market using our savings. I took big chances and they paid off big for years. Now that I made a mistake and invested in a high-risk fund that folded, now all of a sudden I’m irresponsible and stupid and a failure.
She had the opportunity to take part in the finances but she chose to leave it all to me, even though I told her I didn‘t want the responsibility of making all the decisions. Now that we’ve lost so much, I’m the fall guy. It’s kind of ridiculous. This is her responsibility too. She was happy with me when it was good, now she blames me for when it’s bad.

The couples counselor delved into each of their views on money and how this dynamic between the two of them had been created. Money often represents more than just finances for a couple and the two had to explore some of the deeper meanings, while grieving the loss of a financial state that had been a safety net for some time. Slowly, they began to look at this situation as an opportunity, to grow finances together and not separately.

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