Couples Counseling for Difficult Transitions
Frank and Hannah entered into couples counseling following the birth of their third child, who was mentally handicapped. Hannah felt that Frank had “jumped ship” and wasn’t having much to do with the raising of their child. Frank felt that Hannah was overly focused on the child because of her handicap and “wasn’t letting the child breathe.” They began bickering frequently, which was putting a strain on their family unit.
According to Hannah:
I think Frank is embarrassed by our child. He seems to focus on the other two, to the exclusion of Sam. And that really angers me. Practically speaking, I’m also doing all of the work raising Sam and I’m exhausted. So on top of a full-time job and raising children, I feel like I have to contend with a mentally challenged child on my own. Sometimes I think divorce would be easier. That way, I wouldn’t be expecting someone else to help me. Something has to give, I do know that.
The counselor began addressing some of Frank’s concerns about Sam. He slowly uncovered that Frank felt like a failure because of Sam, like he did something wrong. Hannah expressed similar feelings as well. Hannah began exploring ways in which she could “back off” of Sam a little, leaving more room for Frank to bond with Sam. Slowly but surely, the couple began reconnecting. They had a natural adjustment period after the birth of a handicapped child but couples counseling helped navigate the way for a smoother transition.
