Couples Counseling - Learning Skills for the First Time
Helen and Maria had been living together for years before couples counseling became a complete necessity. Maria had decided to spend time with an ex of hers on a more frequent basis and this was making Helen increasingly uncomfortable. Maria assured her that there was nothing romantic between her and her ex but Helen was tense nonetheless. She finally insisted that Maria cease “hanging out” with her ex or she would move out. Maria didn’t want to be in a relationship where Helen acted “like her scolding parent” as she put it.
Once in counseling, Helen and Maria began to explore some deeper issues. Apparently Maria had trouble reassuring Helen throughout a majority of their relationship and it was usually when Helen needed it most. Maria began to explore some of the reasons why. She had grown up in cold, unforgiving household and never learned the art of giving and reassuring. Just like anything else, skills were needed in order to progress. Helen also realized she hadn’t much of a social network other than Maria and needed to develop one, so she wouldn’t be so dependent on Maria.
Maria continued to spend time with her ex and occasionally, Helen joined up as well. It didn’t take long for Helen to realize there wasn’t much to feel threatened by but certainly Maria’s new skills helped bridge the gap.
Counseling is helpful on a practical level. Simple communication skills are often taught that can do wonders for a troubled relationship. Practicing and incorporating these skills are key but learning them in the first place is necessary step.
