Couples Counseling - Learning to Reach Out Later in Life
It often seems that the more years pass by, the more we become set in our ways. It becomes harder to be flexible, reach out or try something new. This was the case with Marge and Henry, who had been married for a whopping 54 years before entering couples counseling.
Marge had quietly endured Henry’s drinking problems ever since they were married, hiding evidence when needed and covering up for his frequent absenteeism. She became “used to”, as she put, living a “big, fat lie.” Now the two of them were several years into retirement when she finally hit a breaking point. Henry became drunk and Marge’s granddaughter’s wedding and passed out during the reception. He had to be carried out by several family member’s. Marge said she’d “happily divorce him” if he didn’t accompany her to couple’s counseling.
Surprisingly, Marge held true to her word. Henry remained tight lipped throughout 3 months of therapy while Marge utilized it to the best of her ability. She figured that some change was going to occur, whether Henry contributed or not. She talked, cried, yelled - got it out of her system. Then she began divorce proceedings at 74 years of age.
Marge reached out after decades of an unhappy marriage. She is now living on her own and continues individual therapy, which she genuinely enjoys. She started working a part-time job at a local library and joined a writing group. She says she’s never been happier and attributes this to her work in therapy. Henry is still actively drinking.
