Crisis Counseling - How to Get Help Now
Most couples don’t enter marital therapy for enrichment, though some do. A small percentage seek counseling pre-crisis. Perhaps they will be married soon or some just feel a certain stillness in their marriage and seek counseling as a way to rejuvenate their connection. But most couples enter therapy because there is an immediate crisis. There are in a state of disrepair and need help quickly.
Carol and Dan were certain needing the aid of counseling immediately. Carol had packed her bags and boxed up her possessions. They could have stood to enter the counselor’s office considerably earlier but Carol had no interest. Dan was consumed by his work and paid little attention to his marriage. After years of Carol explaining to him the toll his job was taking on their marriage, she gave up and started packing. It was then Dan decided to take her words seriously.
By the time they arrived, Carol was very shut down and Dan was very anxious. She felt like Dan only listened when they were in a state of utter crisis and she was tired and resentful. It took many sessions to get Carol to open up and discuss her grievances. Once she began talking, she had trouble stopping! She apparently had a lot to say over the years and Dan listened to every word patiently, realizing that a lot was at stake.
They are still pursuing counseling and Carol is not sure whether she’ll ultimately stay in the marriage but both agree, they are in a better state than several months ago. She even started unpacking one of her boxes!
It seems a VERY small amount get into couples counseling pre-crisis. It seems more think they are pre-crisis, but by the time they arrive the are emotionally bankrupt. …I would like to see more studies on how marriage retreats improve relationships.
Good Post!