The Marriage Counseling Blog

Online romances are common occurrences in this day and age and often a married individual can rationalize its existence without thinking its technically an affair. This was the case with Frank and Melinda.

Frank asked Melinda to enter counseling with her when he discovered she was “seeing” someone online. Melinda has an online business so Frank didn’t think much of the long hours she spend on the computer, until he went on hers one night to do a quick Internet search. He discovered pictures and emails from a man and was outraged. Melinda swore it was a casual acquaintance but Frank thought something entirely different. Melinda even offered up other emails as proof. Frank was not satisfied and insisted on couple’s counseling or he’d consider moving out.

The counselor had to do damage control quickly. Frank felt betrayed and displayed angry outbursts that frightened Melinda and caused a great deal of anxiety for her. Melinda’s denial that this was anything of a romantic nature only infuriated Frank more. The counselor encouraged Frank to release some of this anger in healthier manners (he was yelling and throwing things as home) and got Melinda to open up about her true feelings. Melinda finally confessed that she did find this online connection romantic. She didn’t think it was anything serious and thought it stemmed from Frank no longer spending as much time with her. It became an emotional outlet for her but certainly one she could let go if Frank could focus on her a little more.

Melinda “disconnected” from her online relationship and Frank and Melinda began spending more quality time with one another - time that included romance and warmth, which both agreed had been missing for some time.